Choices
by Maxy93
Summary: Choices define who we are. Janna Winchester chose to run away when she was 14. David Rossi chose to let the teenager live with him, and raise her. John Winchester chose to stop looking for his daughter. Now, ten years later Fate has stepped in and Janna comes face to face with her family while Dean lays dying. (Set during SNs02e01.)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Criminal Minds is not mine and neither is Supernatural. But I do love them equally and I spend way too much time watching them.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Fate Kicks In**

"Why do we always get stuck going to the hospitals?" Reid griped as we walked through the hallway of yet another hospital.

"Be happy there's even one alive, this guy usually doesn't do that." I reply, looking over the notes I had taken from Elizabeth Tucker's interview, or as many notes as you can get from a delirious and drugged up traumatized woman. "I don't know Reid, this just doesn't add up for me. Kate and LeAnn were burned from the inside, but Elizabeth is outside."

"Maybe he's evolving?"

"More devolving. Burning on the outside seems a step backwards. Not to mention it wasn't effective."

"Maybe he was interrupted, or careless. It's been a long time since the last victim, maybe he's growing impatient or she didn't fit his needs?"

"Possible." I say as I sigh and snap my book shut and shake my eyes, a nagging feeling growing in my gut that this wasn't an FBI case but a Hunter case. I needed to get more information before I decided what to do. If this was supernatural I would have to be careful in getting my team out and hunters in. "There is a great coffee shop here in town, let's stop there on our way back to the station."

"We've never been in Sioux Falls before, how do you know where there is great coffee?"

"We haven't, but I have. Had an uncle who lived here when I was little, visited him a lot growing up. And even as a teenager I was obsessed with coffee."

"Did you keep in contact with him after you ran away?"

"No, Uncle Bobby was a great guy, but he would have told dad and I wouldn't of had my rocking life with Rossi and his revolving door of ex-wives." I say as we come to a stop in front of the elevators, I push the down button and wait as it slowly rises from the basement garage.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to wrap my brain around the fact that you're basically Rossi's daughter. Very strange."

"Rossi is strange. And with each passing year I swear it only gets worse."

The elevator dings and the door opens, I give the very tall man who was in it a small smile that freezes on my lips as I look at the man. He's tall, very tall, lanky brown hair that's just a little shorter then Reid's, tattered jeans and a tannish jacket, but it was his face that really caught my attention, the cuts and bruises, dried blood on his collar, he looked a mess, but I felt something tug at my brain. I blinked at him a few times before I step out of his way. He mutters "thanks" as he hurries by, his hands tucked into his jean pockets and his shoulders hunched like he was in pain or protecting himself. I stare after him as he goes down the hall. My brain itching somewhere I can't quite get too. He looked very familiar.

"Chester?" Reid asks as he steps up beside me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," I say shaking my head, wishing I could scratch the itch in my brain, "I'm fine, he just looked familiar is all. How about that coffee?" I say as I clap him on his scrawny shoulder and walk towards the elevator.

* * *

The ride to the coffee shop was quiet, a strange thing for Reid and I. We were usually full of random chatter and nerdy goodness. But I didn't have it in me at the moment. The tall man's face kept flashing in my head, and I absently gave Reid directions to the coffee shop as I tried to remember where I had seen him before.

I had given up trying to figure it out when we pulled up in front of the coffee shop. I gave my head another shake and opened my door, looking around as I did, scanning for anything that used to be familiar. Sam and I spent lots of time here when we were kids. The shop was right across from the library, where we also spent a lot of time. I look across at the familiar building and my heart almost stills. Strapped down to a trailer of towing truck that said "Singer's Salvage and Auto" was the crumpled remains of a 67' Impala.

Without a word I run across the street and stop right in front of the destroyed car. I quickly walked to the trunk and looked at the top of the majorly dented trunk and my chest tightens as I see a devil's trap painted into the black metal. I take a few stumbling steps back as my brain stops itching and the face of my little brother bursts behind my eyes, looking just like the tall man I saw in the elevator at the hospital. Everything hits me so fast I kept stumbling back until I felt hands grab my arms. "Chester! Hey!" Reid says, giving me a small shake, obviously confused over what he was supposed to do.

"Excuse me, since when is it common courtesy to go poking you nose where it doesn't belong?" a gruff voice angrily asks and I look up and come face to face with my Uncle Bobby. I look him up and down, my throat going dry as I notice he doesn't look all the different. A little heavier and with a thinner, lighter beard, but it was still Bobby. His face goes as still and green as mine as he looks at me too.

"Janna?" he breathes out. All I can do is nod and fight the tears that are burning behind my eyes; it had been ten years since I had seen him. Ten years since I had run away from my family, not able to deal with John Winchester's bull anymore. "Shit." Bobby mutters as he walks forward, he hesitantly opens his arms, just a little offering for a hug I wasn't sure I deserved.

But I wanted it.

I break away from Reid's loose grasp and burry myself into Bobby's chest. I can't stop the small sob that leaves my throat as the too familiar arms wrap around me. He even smells the same, a mixture of dusty books, cheap alcohol, and metal. "We looked everywhere for you kid." He says against my hair.

"I'm sorry, I had to leave, I couldn't take it anymore." I mutter back, Reid was still there, still paying attention and listening for anything he could use to figure out what was going on.

"I know, but it still hurt. We all looked for you. I missed you."

"I missed you too." I say as I pull back a little, wiping my eyes and sucking in a calming breath. "Hi." I say after a few seconds. He gives me a smile and lets me go. I take a step back and a point over to Reid. "Bobby, this is Spencer Reid."

"Nice to meet you." Reid says softly, confusion written all over his face. Bobby says nothing, just offering a hand that Reid only shakes because it's rude not too. Reid isn't big on physical contact. "Reid works with me, we're out here for work."

"You look a little young to be working for the FBI boy." Bobby says looking Reid up and down, trying to decide if he liked him or not.

"You know?" I ask, surprised. "How?"

"I know everything." He says to me like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and he was right, Bobby did seem to know everything. "Saw you on the news a few years ago, something about an arsonist at a college. You looked good on the TV, never thought my little girl would be a FBI agent. Kinda kept up with you after that. No, I didn't tell anyone." He adds before I could ask.

I wasn't overly surprised he hadn't, Dad and Dean would have been in Virginia faster than I could blink. My mood sours as I look at the car.

"What happened to the car?" I ask, and Bobby visibly saddens as well.

"You dad and brothers were hunting and on their way back they got smashed by a demon truck driver." He states, and I look up at him in surprise. Demons were dicks and a pain in the ass to deal with, but they weren't something Hunters normally ran into. I only remember dad actually dealing with three when I was little.

"I doubt the truck driver meant to hit the car. I'm sure he's sorry about it." Reid says, looking over the car. "It's a very nice car." He adds.

"Reid, why don't you head back and tell Hotch what we found, I'll be there as soon as I can." I suggest, hoping he'll listen.

"How will you get there?" he asks.

"Bobby can take me. Please Reid. I'll even call Hotch and tell him what happened." I offer, hoping if I make it so Reid doesn't have to explain something so weird to our boss he'd be more willing to go.

"It's cool, I'll go and tell him, just let me know if anything happens." He says as he awkwardly waves bye to us and walks back across the street.

"He's a little squirrely isn't he?" Bobby asks as Reid's lanky form climbs into the SUV.

"Focus Bobby, what happened to them?"

* * *

Bobby and I got in his truck and as he drove us to his house he told me everything that had happened. If I hadn't been raised in the supernatural world I would not have believed a thing he said. But I was raised in it; I did know what was out in the world. I think that's why I was so good at my job at the BAU; I knew more about the dark side of life than my bosses did. In my job we had always snagged a case that wasn't of human doing. I tried to keep us away from them if they came up in our meetings, and if I couldn't prevent it I would call a few hunters that I had stumbled upon since I left and point them in the right direction. They would finish the job, our case would go cold, and we would leave.

"So dad found him. He found the demon that killed mom." I say, not really believing what I was told. This demon was dad's mission in life, finding and killing it. And now it had almost killed them.

"Yeah, he did. Things just didn't go as expected."

"And Dean's in a coma."

"That's what Sam said. Do you want to go to the hospital?"

"No." I say right away. "It's not my place."

"Janna-."

"I said no. I ran away from then Bobby, I stopped being family that night. Dean wouldn't want me there, dad probably hates me, and I know Sam feel abandoned."

"You don't know how they feel kid. And yes, you ran away, ran off with just a note and a promise that you would be careful. What you didn't see was the aftermath of that move. John stopped hunting monsters and started hunting you. For 6 months he looked for you. He called us all in. Caleb, Pastor Jim, Ellen, hell even Rufus was on the lookout. It tore your father up. He gave me your brothers for a whole year after you left, terrified they would leave him too. So I can tell you that your daddy will want to see you, no matter what."

"Okay, but you have to take me to the station first. I have an actual job with rules I have to follow. I can't just go off and do what I want. I have to tell my boss, or ask him at least. We are sort of here on a case."

"The burn victims, it doesn't seem to be witchy which is what I was first thinking, so maybe it's just a messed up person."

"Do you know anyone here who could do this stuff?"

"No, usually this town is quiet, that's partly why I live here. But all good things must come to an end."

"We'll find who it is Bobby. We haven't failed yet. At least not when it's just a regular thing. We landed a case involving a werewolf a month or so ago. That was fun."

"You didn't just leave it did ya?"

"No, called Earl Bridges. He's kind of my go-to guy."

"Earl's an idiot."

"Well I couldn't call you and Dean is so far out of the running it's not funny. I made due. Besides, I had to call someone who wouldn't tell dad."

Bobby shook his head at me as we pulled into his car lot. I looked out the window and smiled at the familiar sight. The yard was messy, covered in car parts, tools, oil spots, gas stains, and dirt. The house looked the same too, just more run down than usual. Bobby drove around towards the back and pulled backed the trailer into a garage, where Dean's baby would sit until he was able to fix it. I looked down at my lap and picked at my nails, Dean was in a coma. My big, stronger than life brother was in a coma. I shook my head and got out of the car, just as my feet hit the ground my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and cringed at the name that flashed across the screen.

"Chester." I say weakly into the phone, cringing more at the calm, yet angry voice that came from the speaker.

"Do you care to tell me why Reid just showed up without you saying you hopped into a random truck with some strange man?" Rossi demanded.

"He wasn't just some man, and I asked Reid if he could handle reporting back to you-."

"What the kid says he can do is not the point. You do not just go off half-cocked with someone from your personal life because you feel like it, especially in the middle of a case. Get back here. And then you can tell what was going through your head."

"If you would stop for two seconds and let me explain."

"I told you to get back here, Hotch isn't happy with you either."

"David! Just stop. I saw my brother at the hospital, and then I saw my Uncle Bobby. My family Dave, they're hurt."

The silence on the other end of the line had my lowering my eyes to the ground. I hated snapping at Rossi, and I really hated when he fell silent after it. "Dave?" I mumble, waiting for him to respond.

"Are you at the hospital?"

"No, I'm on my way back to the station. I just—I had to know what happened and Bobby knew what was going on and I know I didn't handle it well but-."

"Stop. Just get here and then we'll decide what to do with you and work, then we'll go to the hospital."

"Dave, I don't think you should-." The line went dead before I could finish my sentence. I sigh and shove my phone back in my pocket.

"Let's go Janna." Bobby says, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and steering me towards another towing truck, this one was red with yellow letters. "How pissed was step-dad?" Bobby asks as he starts the car up.

"How did you know that's who it was?"

"I've known where you've been for years. Got a call about 6 months after you left, some one saw you."

"You said you saw me on TV." I say confused.

"And I did. That was how I knew you were with the FBI. I found where you were and who you were with long before that."

"Why didn't you come after me?" I ask, truly wondering why.

"I did." He said before telling me about a trip he made to Virginia ten years ago.

* * *

FLASHBACK

Bobby's PoV

I swear these damn Winchesters' were going to make my hair fall out because of all their BS. John was tearing half the country apart looking for the missing child, and he just informed me that he would be dropping the boys off indefinitely next month. Between his annoying phone calls and the random research he was asking of me I had no time to do much else. It had been 6 months since Janna had run off, a weak note of explanation found in her wake the morning after. After that John had lost his marbles, he left his case wide open, calling in another hunter to take it over, and he and the boys had gone on the hunt for her. Dean went to every bus stop and train station around and poor Sam had been tied to John's side as he ran around town flashing her photo to anyone who stood still for half a second. John had always worried out his younger, less devoted children. Even I knew it would be a cold day in Hell before Dean left his dad. Sam and Jana never had that level of devotion.

I had looked too, but I stayed home mostly, hoping she would come here, or at least call. But no. nothing had happened. All the hunters I trusted had been given a photo of her and were under orders to call if they saw her. Ellen would ask around at her roadhouse, but we had nothing to show for it.

I walked up the steps of my house and went to straighten up the guest room, the three twin beds took up most of the floor space, and I sighed as I looked at the shower curtain I had installed around the far bed. Jana was a girl; she needed some sort of privacy when they were all here. I walked over and sat down on it and traced the scratching of her name that hung on the wall beside it.

The kids had been here for two months when she was 5, and this was the first art project she had done in art class. She had been proud and asked if she could hang it by _her_ bed. There was no way I could have told her no. so there it hung, the glitter was long gone and the paper faded, but it still hung there. Her art work above her bed. I stood back up and ripped all the blankets and sheets from the bed to take to the laundry. No one had slept in them in for about 10 or 11 months and they needed to be washed and aired out.

I poured the soap into the machine when my phone rang. "Yeah?" I answer as I try and screw the lid on with one hand.

"Hey Singer, I just saw that girl you and Winchester are looking for." The voice says and I almost drop the soap all over the floor.

"Who is this?"

"Gordon Walker. Ellen Harvelle passed her picture around when I was last at the roadhouse. This girl is her."

"Where?"

"Quantico Virginia. Caught wind of a nest up here, stopped to get food at Katy's Drivin' Diner on 86th and she was there with an older, Italian man. They looked pretty comfortable together. Anyways, didn't have Winchester's number, just wanted to let you know."

"Thanks." I say as I hang up. Gordon Walker was an ass; I had nothing good to say about him. I immediately dialed John's number but before it even rung I hung the phone up.

If I wanted to get Jana back home John was not the answer. Father and daughter had never been close. And his temper and the fact he'd go in fists and words flying, demanding she return would only make her run away again down the road. John would be here in a few weeks, and I would make his day if Jana was waiting for him.

It would be quicker to fly there than drive, plus I didn't think my car would make the trip anyway. So I called Rufus and put him on phone duty and said I was taking my own hunt so he'd leave me alone, booked a flight, and three days later I drove down the road towards the restaurant Gordon had said he saw her at.

I parked and went inside, I walked up to the bar and sat down, and when the waitress showed up and showed a picture of Jana and asked if she knew who she was. "That's Janna, her and her dad come in here every Sunday during the church rush." She answered after I flashed my fake police badge.

"What is the man's name?" I ask, wanting to know who the hell had the nerve to say he was her father.

"David Rossi, he's a very nice man." Then she filled my cup and walked off. I took a drink and cringed at the taste. It was weak and bitter, and so was the fact I had to stick around one more day.

After I ate I went to the closest hotel and looked up the service times of all the churches in the area and then I looked up all the information I could on David Rossi. A whole bunch of articles popped up, including information about a book he had written. He was an FBI agent. But there was nothing about him having a kid, even adopting one. But there were marriage and divorce records, two of each to be exact. There were a few interviews he had done, and I watched them all. I felt more akin to a stalker than I ever had in my life. But I needed to know everything there was to know about this man who had Jana.

The following morning I was up and waiting at the restaurant by 11:30. I watched people come and go for almost an hour, with each minute that passed I get more and more annoyed, it was getting late into the church rush, and no sign of them. I turned the car back on to get some air going and I was about to drive off and start looking the old fashion way, then a red car pulled in and a man and a teenaged girl got out. My eyes grow big and my heart speeds up as I look at Jana for the first time in over a year, 6 of those months she had been missing.

Her brown hair was up in a bun on the top of her head and she was dressed in a pink dress with white shoes. She looked healthy enough from a distance, happy even. The man wore a black suit with black shoes that matched his black hair. Why was he wearing so much damn black? And why was Jana in a dress? She hates the things and I had never seen her in one. I watch with a mix of jealousy and anger as she laughs and gives the tall man a small push against his shoulder. He doesn't budge and just wraps his arm around her shoulders and leads her into the building. I wait a few minutes and then follow them in. I see a table free right behind Jana and I walk to it and sit down. The middle of a restaurant was not the place to lay claim to my long lost girl. So I sat and listened instead.

"Are you going to try out of the choir?" the man asks, his voice has a small accent, he was definitely Italian.

"I don't know. I like to sing, but Sister Agatha is a bit crazy, I don't know if I could survive being that close to her several times a week." Jana says, she sounds happy, happier than she had in a long time. The small talk continued, they talked about her school, the track team she was on, the man sounded amazed with how fast she could run, his job, people I didn't know, something about a new puppy, how good the food was, something about the mass they had left that morning, just normal, run of the mill stuff. As they talked I felt my heart drop more and more. Jana was happy. Happier than I could ever remember her being. This guy was obviously wrapped around her finger and loved her, he had a good job, and she wasn't moving all over the place. She had found what she wanted.

I quickly finished off my coffee and ate half my food before I got up and walked out of the building. I got in the rental car and watched as a few minutes later they walk out of the building too. They walk to their car, he even opens and closes her door before he gets in. I watch as he backs out and drives off. I watched as the most important girl in my life was driven away by a stranger. But I knew it was for the best. She had the life she wanted; she was safe and cared for. And who was I to take that away from her?

The next day I was on a plane back home, and two weeks later John showed up, dragging two tired teenagers with him. I sent the boys upstairs and I asked John where he was going this time.

"Canada, I think there is a lead on the demon there. Same type of family, same situation. It's easier to get across the border without the kids."

"I agree, you just don't get caught by the feds," I say as I pour a glass of rockgut for the man. "Illegally crossing the borders isn't something I can get you out of."

"I will be." John says as he sits on the couch, reaching for the drink I held in my hands. "Have you heard anything on Janna?" he asks, his voice holding no sign of hope for a positive answer.

"No, if I had you know I'd call you." I lied.

"I think it's time to stop looking for her. She obviously doesn't want me to find her and each day I waste chasing her, another family gets destroyed by that thing. I taught her well, she knows how to live. She'll be fine."

"Don't let the boys hear you talking like that." I snort.

"Sam is the only one who'd get mad. Dean washed his hands of her months ago."

"You're giving up on your daughter?" I ask unbelieving.

"No, just not hopeful anymore." He says as he downs the drink and stands up. "I told the boys to behave; all the records have already been sent to the school. They think Jana is with family in Washington, we're gonna keep it that way. Last thing I need is the police poking around my boys and that's what would happen if the news got out she ran away. I'll be back as soon as I can." And with that John walks out the door, not saying goodbye to his boys as he does.

I shake my head at his retreating form and shake my head. After witnessing that, I no longer felt guilty about what I had done. And a small apart of my brain wondered if David Rossi would take two more.

* * *

Present Day

Janna's PoV

"I didn't even see you there." I say, picking at my nails again, "I can't imagine how hard it was for you to let me go, but for what it's worth, thank you for it. David gave me a great life. I went to the same school for four years, made friends, went to prom, state tack and field. My life was good here."

"I don't regret it. And when Sam left I felt even better about my choice."

"When Sam left what?" I asked in confusion. Sam liked the idea of being a hunter. But by the time we pulled up outside of the police station I felt cold and very sad for my brothers. Bobby told me everything, from Sam leaving for school and getting pulled back in when his girlfriend burned like mom had. Dad disappearing from the scene and Dean's never ending quest to find him that ended as well as I could have expected. Dad never was one for explaining anything. Giving orders and expecting blind obedience was how he operated.

"I'll go see them as soon as I can Bobby. I promise." I say as I reach for the door handle. I push the squeaky door open and look back at him. "I'll call you. And after we leave I'll keep in touch okay." I give him a small smile and step out of the truck, shutting the door and watching from the sidewalk as he backed the truck up and drove off with a honk of his horn.

I take a deep breath as I walk into the police station. Hotch was going to give me and earful and David was gonna kill me. I had lots of answers to give and I really had no idea where to start. All they knew about my family was I had ran off when I was 14 because of neglect and emotional abuse. They knew David had caught me when I broke into his house for some food and instead of turning me over to the police decided to give me a place to stay. The fact I had ran into them and they were all injured was some weird trick that fate decided to play on me. Karma for 10 years of avoiding them and all the hurt I had caused when I ran away.

The small station was not very busy and Morgan was on the phone when I walked in, he gave me a pitying look and said Hotch was waiting for me before he continued his conversation. I go to the conference room we had set up operations in and saw Reid and Emily pouring over the board and JJ was talking with Hotch, David was nowhere in sight. Hotch saw me and he tells everyone in the room to leave. I get pitying looks that matches Morgan's as they all walk by me. I twist my hands as I look up at my boss. "Hotch-." I try to start, but he holds up a hand.

"Agent Winchester, I asked you back in the office if this case was going to cause any issues with you. I know you were here a lot as a kid and that it may be a problem. You assured me it wouldn't be. And yet here we are. You're abandoning your duty to joy ride with someone from your past. Explain your actions." He said, his voice was calm as always, but I could almost see the smoke coming from his ears. After Reid had gotten snatched in Oregon Hotch had doubled down on team security, not wanting something like that to happen again.

"First of all, I wasn't joy riding, and coming back here wasn't supposed to be a problem, sir. When Reid and I finished interviewing Elizabeth Tucker I saw someone who looked familiar in the elevator, but I brushed it off and we left. We went to get coffee and I saw my family's car on the back of a tow truck, I walked over and a man who helped raise me was the driver. Hotch my family was in a car accident. My brother Dean is in a coma and my father is badly injured. I know what I did was wrong Hotch, but I needed to know what happened to my family."

"It is not wrong to worry about your family Chester, but how you went about it was wrong. All you had to do was call me, and I don't care if Reid said he had it, it's not his place to tell me about you. It's your job." Hotch says as his demeanor softens, using my nickname in place of my last name. "David is waiting out back to take you to the hospital. But if something breaks on the case I need you back here and focused. Understood?"

"Yes sir." I say before I give him a small smile. "I'll let you know what happens, but I don think I'll be there too long. They probably won't be happy to see me after all these years."

"They're your family Chester, they will be very happy to see you." he says, holding the door open for me. I didn't respond to his words. With normal families Hotch's words would be true, but with my family it was very far from what would probably happen.

I walk out the back door and David is waiting, leaning against the side of a black SUV. I give him a small smile before I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him in a much needed hug. He hugs me back and tells me everything is going to be okay.

"I didn't think I'd see them again, and now…" I trail off, not knowing what to say in this situation. "What do I do?"

"Get in the car and let me take you to the hospital." We pull apart and he grabs my shoulders. "Janna, this is something you need to do, and I think something you've been wanting. To finally get some sort of closure on that life. Even you said they at least loved you, and that's something most don't have. I'll be there every step of the way." he gives me a small smile and soon we're both in the car on our way to the hospital. I catch David up on all that had happened, from seeing Sam and the hospital to running into Uncle Bobby. When I told David he had found me in Virginia and let me stay he let out a chuckle. "I wouldn't have just let him take you anyway. Not unless you wanted to go back."

"I kinda wish he would have at least said hi or something. Bobby was great. Every time dad dropped us off at his place life was good, normal. We did homework and ate real food. Or as real as Bobby could cook." I add with a giggle remembering some of the stuff he had fed us in the early days. Dean was convinced Bobby was feeding us the junk he scrapped off the inside of the car engines. "He wants to meet you."

"I wouldn't mind meeting him."

It's a short drive from the station to the hospital, David stays close to my side as we walk, and I know he can tell I'm nervous. It's practically rolling off me in waves. David suggests going to the front desk to get the room numbers but I just lead him to elevators, saying I know where they are, which is a total lie, but dad never used our real last name, and I doubt that John or Dean Winchester are registered at this hospital. And I had no idea what name they may have used. We get off on the floor I saw Sam on and I take off in the direction that had the most rooms and I peak into every door we pass, we're almost at the end of the hall and I cringe about having to go the other way and dodge all of David's questions, but I get lucky and the next to last room I look in and I see my big brother laying in the bed.

I freeze in my steps at the sight. Dean never sat still, Dean never laid still, Dean was never pale, and Dean never let his hair look that bad. I swallow and jump slightly as David puts his arm around my shoulders, giving me a small squeeze before giving me a small shove forward. My feet carry me to the bed and I just stand there, looking down at Dean. I want to hold his hand, but I doubted he would want me to. To my brother, family was everything. And I had betrayed that. For ten years I had betrayed that.

Dean probably hated me.

David flips through the doctor's chart and tells me what he finds there and I pinch the inside of my elbow to keep my emotions in check. David pushes a chair up to me and says he was going to get some coffee. He pats my back on his way out the door, leaving me alone with Dean.

I slowly sit in the chair and scoot it closer to Dean's side. I search my brain for something to say, anything to say. Just saying "hi" was lame, and sitting here in silence was weird. But I didn't know what to say. What could I cay? I give my head a small shake and let out a small giggle. "I still over think things." I say softly. "You always said I thought too much about everything. But as annoying as it was to you, it helped me out a lot." My sentence hung awkwardly in the air and I let out a sigh. "I never thought I'd see you again, and especially not like this. But for what it's worth…." I reach out and grab his hand. "I missed you big brother."

* * *

Dean's PoV

I'm so friggin over this ghost thing. I'm over watching dad and Sam fighting about crap and after I slapped that glass across the room I'm tired and even more annoyed. I wondered back to where my body was just chilling and I wondered if I could focus on fixing my hair. It was pretty shitty looking.

I shuffle along, having an immature giggle as I walked through a hot nurse. I look towards where my room was and wonder if I'll ever get to do this as a whole person again. Two people get my attention as I go, a tall man with black hair, and a normal looking chick with dark brown hair who keeping looking into every room she walks by. There was a reason the information desk existed I think as I roll my eyes. But then the girl freezes and I realize she's outside my room. I walk a little faster, hoping they weren't feds, not with dad and Sammy bitching around. But it wasn't a fed I saw. It was my little sister. I freeze, and stare at her.

My mouth gapes and I blink my eyes a few times, making sure I'm not just seeing things. The man gives her a small shove forward and they're both in my room. I quickly follow and continue to stare at her. She looked a lot like she had the last time I saw her, just taller and not as scrawny. I get annoyed at the amount of touching this random guy is doing. He was old, why was he all over my sister? She sits and looks so lost it hurts. But the longer she sits there, not saying a word, the more time I have to process and the shock at seeing her turns to anger and resentment. What right did she have to show up here after ten years and be that upset? She sure didn't give a damn about us ten years ago. What was she doing here now? How did she even know we were here?

I listen to her words, not knowing how to feel, but my chest tightens when she takes my hand, I'm sad I can't feel it, and says she missed me. I let out what felt like a breath of air but probably wasn't. "I missed you too." I whisper back. Reaching my hand out and rolling my eyes as it glides right through her hand.

I sit on the floor and watch, but it's only for a few minutes when the man comes back, a cup of coffee in his hand. "I called Hotch, told him what was going on. You're off the case for now."

"What happened to me having to call him myself?" she asks softly, not looking at the man, and I wonder who Hotch was, and why he was okay with such a bad name.

"Special circumstances, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind you calling him."

"Thanks David. I will, I just…I need to get my head on straight. First I see Sam but don't know it's Sam, then I stumble across Bobby because I wanted coffee, and now I'm here, looking at my dying brother and too scared to even look for dad." She cuts off to let out a breath to calm her down. A trick Bobby had taught her. Janna always had a temper. Vague memories of her as a baby flashed behind my eyes. She always seemed to be crying or close to it. In the few sentimental moments my dad had with us when we were older he always said Janna was the worst baby out of the three of us. I was never still, Jenna was never quiet, and Sam was never loud. Dad said Jenna had mom's temper. Dad said Janna was a lot of mom. And I think that's why he could never get close to her. It hurt him too much.

My sister looked helplessly up at the man she called David, her voice low and breaking as she talked. "I don't know what to do papa." She says, tears falling down her face. The man sets his drink on the floor and goes over to her, wrapping his arms around her, folding her into his chest.

"Oh my baby." He mumbles. "I know. I know this is hard." He rubs her shoulders and pulls her hair from her face where it is sticking because of her tears. I just watch, not really knowing what to feel as I do. "It's been ten years Janna. Don't you think it's time you faced this?"

"I don't know." She says, her voice muffled by the man's chest.

"I think you do." He says, and after a few seconds they pull apart and he drops down on his hunches. "Ten years is a long time to let this fester, and here you are, with the perfect chance to finally close the book on this part of your life. Are the circumstances ideal? No, but here it is. Your family is here, and it's time to bury that hurt. Time to make peace with this part of you."

Janna doesn't say anything, but she nods and gives the man another hug. He kisses her head before he rests his cheek on top of it. "You haven't called me papa in a very long time." He comments after the emotions pass. Jenna gives out a little giggle.

"I don't think it's appropriate to call one of your bosses Papa. Besides, it's hard to prove I'm with the FBI because of my own merit and not because of the man who raised me."

And just like that, any good feelings I may have had for my sister evaporated. Not only had she ran away, but she had replaced us. Replaced us with a fed, she left us, people who needed her, for a new life with this jerk. With my anger spike I felt myself flicker a little and the lights buzz low for a second. I freeze with that realization and I storm out the door. I had to get back in my own body and fast. Then I could deal with long lost baby sister.

* * *

Janna's PoV

When the lights flicker a look up at them, then around the room. It was a hospital, people died here all the time and it was spirit heavy, people crossing over, as well as a few people that probably didn't want to cross over. Not to mention all the reapers that were probably around here. Hunter training made hospitals suck even more than they normally did. David phone rings and he steps into the hall to answer it. I wipe my eyes and look back at Dean.

"When you wake up I'll introduce him to you properly. But his name is David, he caught me breaking into him house a few weeks after I left. And instead of turning me in he gave me a place to stay. He's a good guy. But you probably won't like him on principle." The door opens behind me and I turn and see David walking in. "That was Hotch, Garcia got a hit on a name." I move to stand up, but he just puts his hand up. "We've got this, you stay here. I know there are two more people you need to see before we leave in a few days. Cant do that if you're chasing criminals." He kisses the top of my head and squeezes my shoulders. "Call me if you need me. I'll be back as soon as I can." I nod at him and he gives me a smile before he walks out the door. A few minutes pass and I know he's long gone, leaving me here truly alone. I look back at Dean,

"I guess I'm really gonna do this thing."

The room is silent except the beeping of the machines on Dean. I've let go of his hand and I'm just sitting there with my feet propped up against the bed. I'm looking over the notes I have on the case and wish I had my file on me, but I left it with Reid since he was the paper master. I was torn on what to think. On one hand it could just be a crazy man with the right chemicals and know-how, or it could be a demon who enjoys smoking in-and-out a lot. Enough possession and that black smoke crap does some real damage to a person, and it would explain the memory issues that Elizabeth was having.

I turn as the door opens and I snap out of my seat so fast I almost knock the chair over as my dad is wheeled into the room. His eyes grow wide and I swear his mouth almost drops. The nurse senses a shift, and she pauses the chair. "Is everything alright?" she asks, looking pointedly at me. "I will not tolerate trouble, Dean needs rest and quiet."

"There won't be any trouble ma'am." I say as I reach down for my bag. "I was just leaving." I start to shove the book in my bag, but my dad steps up.

"This is my daughter, and she wont cause any problems." He says pointedly, his brown eyes as stern and scary as ever. I feel myself almost wilt under his gaze. Just like when I was a child. The nurse hurmps before depositing dad in a corner and leaving the room.

The air between us is tense and electric; I was still standing, almost afraid to make a move. I just looked at dad and dad just looked at Dean. I pick at the skin around my nails in a nervous tick I had yet to kick, even though it drove David crazy and made Garcia cringe at the damage I was doing.

"Stop picking." Dad says, his voice low and gruff, and I quickly drop my hands to my sides. Dad very slowly turns his head and looks at me. "How did you know we were here?"

"Ran into Bobby at the coffee shop. Saw the Impala, Bobby told me what happened. You found it then?"

"Your brothers and I. We found the demon that killed your mother. You remember that right? Or did you forget that when you ran off." His voice is even and holding the edge it always held when he was pissed but unable to spout off his actual feelings.

"I didn't forget, and I always hoped you'd find it." I reply quietly, not rising to his bait. He's trying to get me to snap back at him. "Is it the reason all the women are dying around here?" I ask, because if it was I had to get my team out of the way.

"No. his being here is pure coincidence. The others under his control are here to help, not cause him trouble like jumping suits would do. Your little team is safe." He spits the last bit. I look at him confused. "Were you really that stupid that you'd think I would find you eventually?"

"I just figured if you had then you'd….."

"Grab you by your arm and drag you back? Trust me, if I had found you around the time you went missing that's exactly what I would have done. But instead I see you, and you're under the care of a fed. You weren't dead and I had a djinn to kill. Seemed like a pointless argument to have with a 17-year old. All confronting you would have done was draw attention where I didn't need it."

"So, as usual, you were just thinking about yourself? Couldn't even be bothered to even say something to your own daughter." I accuse him, a second later I realize I've lost, I rose to his bait, and now we were in a full fledged argument.

"It wasn't just me at stake Jenna. What about Sam? If I had tried to drag your ass back then we would have been investigated and Sam would have been caught in the cross-fire. Not to mention all the people that would have been killed while I was off dealing with a mess you started." He growls. "I looked at the big picture Jenna. Something you and Sam never seem to understand. In our line of work you don't hesitate, you don't question, and you always think long term."

"In your line of work Dad, not mine. And apparently not Sam's either." At his look I press on. "Yeah, I know all about Sam taking off too. About his normal life that got shot to hell because you went off radar and sent Dean knocking on his door, dragging him back into a life he apparently didn't want to be a part of!" I shout, and knowing my voice was carrying I grab my bag and walk out the door. "This whole damn thing was a mistake. Have a good life you bastard." I say as I slam the door shut behind me for good measure.

I stalk down the hallway, fuming with each step I take. At first I grab my phone wanting to call David, but he was busy and there wasn't anyone I wanted to talk to besides him. I slam my fist into the elevator button and cross my arms as I wait for it. It finally shows up and after a few people get off I walk in, pressing the button for my floor and the close door button over and over. I didn't want to share this thing with a single person at the moment.

The doors slide shut and I wrap my arms around myself, my mind spinning with anger and sadness. That was not the reunion I was wanting with my dad. I wasn't ever expecting one, but a part of me always wondered what we would say and do if we did. And what just unfolded was not what I had wanted. This whole situation was crap, fate being a dick or all my bad karma coming to bite me in the ass.

The elevator dings and I storm out, not paying attention to where I was going, I just had my eyes on the door that would get me out of this place. And it just seemed like poetic justice when I bumped into somebody and fall to the floor with a thump. "I'm so sorry miss, I wasn't paying attention." A voice says as a big hand appears in my vision, the man was offering to help me up. I take it and he pulls me up with enough strength to over correct me a bit. I look at the man and I can't help but groan. Of course it was Sam I ran into.

He still has my hand and he looks at me, his eyes moving over me and his mouth opens and closes like a fish. "J-Janna?" he stutters out, looking shocked.

"Hi Sammy." I mumble back as I look up at my little brother.

* * *

 **Story Note:** I found John is very hard to write, so sorry if he's ooc, but I always thought he would have been more of a jerk to Sam and Dean when they were kids than he's portrayed on the show. Not physically abusive, just neglectful and a bit of a bully.

-I also found Emily is hard for me to write so I just kinda took her out. I love Emily and I don't want to screw her character up.

\- There isn't a set season for CM in this story.

-The rest of the CM team will have bigger parts in the next chapter; this is just setting everything up. I have big plans for the John/Rossi meeting.

\- I know demons weren't common in Supernatural in the first few seasons, but to make this flow better they all know about devil's traps and possession and all that stuff they learned in seasons 1 and 2.

\- Also, pretend everybody knows about Ellen and the roadhouse. I loved Ellen, and I'm still bummed she's gone.

 **A/N:** I don't really know where this came from, but it popped in my head and I couldn't get it out. So here it is. Hope you all like it just a little bit.

I don't have a beta, and even though I proof read mistakes happen and I apologize for them. My brain goes faster than my fingers when I write.

I almost never update on a set day, but I try to shoot for once a week unless something happens or my muse flies out the window, but this has been on my brain for several weeks so I don't think that's gonna happen.

REVIEWS make my life so much better and they always help keep me motivated. So if you like the story please let me know and I'll continue posting chapters.

THANKS FOR READING, YOU ALL ROCK!


	2. Chapter 2: Suffocating

**Disclaimer:** Criminal Minds is not mine and neither is Supernatural. I love them equally and spent way too much time watching them.

 **EXTRA THANK YOUS** to my amazing reviewers, you guys made me smile so much, and all my favorites and followers, you blew my mind. The fact I'm getting such a response to a crossover just makes me smile! You All Are Amazing!

* * *

Chapter Two: Suffocating

Growing up Sam had almost always been the calm one, taking dad's rants, our fights, and Dean's overall craziness in a quiet stride that I had always wanted but knew I would never have. So instead of flying off the handle with thinly veiled rage like dad had, Sam pulled me into the fastest, tightest hug I think I had ever been dragged into. And Sam was in some pretty stiff competition with Garcia in the running for the top spot. "What are you doing here?" he asks, not breaking the hug. I just shook my head at his question, not wanting to say anything yet. I was still trying to wrap my brain around the fact this huge man was my little brother.

There was nothing little about him.

I had always known Sam would be tall, he was a long baby and once he hit puberty his legs had shot up before the rest of his body knew what to do with itself. Dean had been a little annoyed when he realized Sam was gonna be taller than him, which was an impressive feat as Dean was not a shorty either. He gives me a small, tighter squeeze then lets go, his face looking lost and a little confused. "I have so many questions." He states, and I give him a small smile and nod my head. And I thanked God for giving me Sam, he at least thought before he spoke. Something he didn't get from me, dad, or Dean. Sam was like the mutant Winchester.

We go to the coffee shop that was in the lobby of the hospital, Sam's simple coffee order is a refreshing thing compared to Garcia's science experiment involving shots of flavor and espresso and Reid's six spoons of sugar and four creamers that made his coffee more like surgery milk, and thanks to Rossi my order was stupid simple too. David had always gone for the less is more approach to all things. Except with the wives. That was kind of insane.

I carry our coffees to the table where Sam sits, I pass him his drink and I pop the lid off mine and set it aside. Coffee was always too hot for me to drink right after buying it. Sam just blew over the top of the lid and took a sip. "Thanks." He says as he sets it down. For a second I think things are going to grow silent and awkward, but Sam doesn't let it. "What happened to you Janna? I mean, we looked all over the place for you, you were just gone."

"I know, that's how I planned it."

"You planned it?" he asks, sounding a little exasperated.

"Yeah, for a few weeks. I couldn't handle it anymore Sam. He was out of his mind, too obsessed with hunting that damn thing and it was turning me into someone I didn't want to be. I didn't like what dad had already done to Dean. Making him a blind follower and I wasn't about to live like that."

"So your solution was to leave? Leave Dean and me to bare the brunt of dad's anger and paranoia? After you left he went crazy. Sent Dean on random goose hunts and basically handcuffed me to his side. He didn't let me go anywhere alone. Pulled us out of school and we spent almost a whole month looking for you before dad moved on to follow the tiniest lead on you we dug up. He was like that for almost six months. Then he dropped Dean and me off at Bobby's for a year and we heard from him one time. You leaving made him even more distant if that was even possible."

"You left too Sam." I snap back at the end of his accusatory speech. "You want to know why I'm here? I ran into Bobby. Of all the people in the world I could have ran into it was Bobby. He told me everything Sam. About you leaving, why you left, how you and dad basically hate each other. You can't sit there and blame me for everything Sam."

"At least they knew where I was going. You left us nothing." Sam's words were short and too the point. And then it dawned on me, it wasn't the leaving that was the worst part; it was them not knowing where I was or if I was safe.

I felt my chest tighten, I knew that feeling, and I hated it. When Reid had been nabbed in Oregon or when Hotch's SUV had exploded and we didn't know who was alive or not. I hadn't known where they were or if they were safe. That feeling squeezed your heart and you felt like you would never breathe again. And I had only had to deal with those feelings for a few hours; I had put my family through that for ten years. I look up at Sam and all I see is hurt in his eyes. His big brown eyes that had always looked bigger when he was upset. Flashes of me holding his when he was younger as he cried or was scared. The few days where Dean and I's food rationing had failed and we were all hungry and wondering where dad was.

For the first time in ten years I felt real guilt for my actions.

"I'm sorry Sam. I'm sorry I did that to you."

"But you're really not. You hate what happened after you left, but not that you left."

That was also true. I wasn't sorry for my life with Rossi, for my life now. I had friends and a place to call home, and when people asked where I was from I had an answer now. "If would have asked you wouldn't have come with me. And we both know Dean wouldn't have just said no, he would have tied me to his side and I never would have been left alone."

"Where did you go anyway? When I say we looked everywhere I mean everywhere. Dad called Uncle Bobby and almost every hunter we knew. They were all out looking for you."

"I know, Bobby told me a little about what had happened. And I also figured dad would do that, so I went towards D.C. there are not a lot of hunters up there, less chance of getting caught."

* * *

Flashback

I got off the last bus and I was so tired and sore from the long and slow ride from Iowa to Virginia. I was dirty and hungry. The first thing I did was walk over to the newspaper stand and pulled one out and flipped trough it looking for shelters in the area. I had a pretty decent number to choose from and just went to the closest one I could find. It was a pretty big one and I pulled my backpack that held my clothes, money, knife, and a few pictures I had taken from the trunk of the Impala where dad kept them stashed. My whole life crammed into my tattered, second-hand blue backpack. The same one Dean had used back when he gave a crap about school.

It's late, but there was still someone at the front desk. The lady sets her book down and smiles at me. "Hi there, can I help you?" she asks politely, but I suddenly find my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. After a few seconds of silence, the woman walks around the desk and stands in front of me, putting her hands on my shoulders. "Did you run away from home?" he voice is still nice, but it put me off a little. I just nod and swallow a little, the action seemed to free my tongue and I finally speak. My voice quiet and high-pitched. "I did. I'm on my way back." I lie, but lying was second nature to me, I had done it enough.

"Where are you headed?"

"South Dakota. That's where my Uncle lives."

"How are you going to get there? That's a long walk."

"I've made it this far." I shrug.

"You know I need to call the police. They'll help you get back." And with that I slowly back away before bolting out the door, the woman calling after me. I ran as far from the shelter as I could. After several minutes I come to a stop, my breathing heavy and my heart pounding. I feel tears fall down my eyes and I angrily wipe them away.

I look around and notice I've ran into a decent looking neighborhood. Nice, secure houses on all sides, a few barking dogs, and home security signs on almost every lawn. I sigh and walk back the way I came; I needed a place to crash that was safe and hidden. A few blocks away I stumble across a park. My eyes going up to the sky to check the moon, it's quarter shown brightly in the sky and I shake my head at my stupid action. I had purposefully left far from the full moon, and I doubted one would stick around in such a busy and uppity neighborhood anyway. But parks were still a favored hunting ground. I walk down the path and look all around for a place to crash. After a few more minutes and a few late night joggers go by I find something that will work for tonight. A thickly treed area that also had some bushes. It was right at the edge of the park where the think remains of a forest still stood. I make sure no one is around before I duck between some trees and I go as far in as I can, which isn't very. I sit on the ground and lean against a tree and pull my knees up to my chest, the position also helping my belly that is clawing for some food. I hadn't eaten in almost a day. Telling myself to save my money for when I was desperate, knowing I could live a few days without food, and hoping all my practice would make it easier.

I reach in my back and pull out the blanket I had had since I was little. I think dad said a relative had given it to mom when she was pregnant with me, and it was the only thing I had from our normal life when mom was still alive and we were all happy. I had my blanket and Sam had his. I don't think Dean had anything. But I could be wrong; Dean kept things hidden pretty well. For all I knew he was some stuffed bear in his bag from childhood. I also pull out my knife, a gift from dad when I turned ten, just what I had always wanted. I roll my eyes at the bitter thought. I zip my bag closed and lay down on it, using it as a pillow. I toss the small blanket over my shoulders and tucked the knife under my bag, my hand resting just below it. I curl into as much of a circle as I could and close my eyes. I do every go-to-sleep trick I knew and none of them worked. So I just lay there on the cold, hard ground, thankful it's the end of summer so it wouldn't be too hot or too cold. It would give me time to find a place. Anyplace.

* * *

The dawn broke over the trees and I tucked all my things back into my bag and flung it over my shoulder as I walked out of my hiding place. The park was still pretty empty, just a few early joggers and people walking their dogs. I duck my head and take off back the way I came. My stomach wasn't trying to claw its way out of me, but I knew that wasn't the best sign. So I roll my shoulders and decide to find a truck stop. The big, fully functioning ones would have showers and hot food I could grab as I went by.

It took looking through a paper and wasting some money on a subway ticket, but I found myself walking through the ladies room of a huge truck stop. I take all my stuff with me and look through each shower, hoping someone had left some shampoo or something behind. I look through the trash and smile when I find a few empty bottles. I grab them up and go to a shower stall. I hang my bag up after pulling out a clean change of clothes and I pull off my dirty clothes. I step in the shower with all my empty bottles. I unscrew the lids and fill them all up with water and give them a shake. After using 2 bottles my hair and body is finally feeling clean and I'm feeling a little better. I flip the water to cold and just open my mouth, swallowing the water and cringing at the taste. I flip the water off and frown when I realize I have nothing to dry off with. I roll my eyes and reach into my bag, pulling out a hair tie I scrape my wet hair back and tie it into a wet but at the top of my head and grab the shirt I was going to change into and wipe myself down, drenching the shirt in the process. I wasn't all the dry, but I wasn't soaked. So I pull on my clean clothes, depositing the dirty ones and the wet shirt into my bag. Wherever I went tonight I'd had to lay it out to dry so I wouldn't smell so bad. I tuck the water/shampoo bottles into my bag as well and walk out.

There are a few hotdogs spinning in a warmer as well as some eggrolls. I reach out and grab one, cringing at the heat, before I walk out of the furthest door from the counter as I can. I'm only a few feet from the door before I shove the whole thing in my mouth, smiling at how good it tasted. But the spark in my step dies in a few minutes. My belly wanting more food and the fact I had nowhere to go again tonight dawned on me. Damn. This was going to be harder than I thought.

The next few days went roughly the same way. I wondered around Virginia, going from town to town, but I always stuck with the big ones. My money was depleting fast and when I got off in Quantico I knew I was going to have to do something or I would have to admit defeat and return home. Back to the nightmare that was my life there. I roll my eyes and start walking. I grab a newspaper and find a shelter for the homeless. I walk to it and find a nice looking lady, waved a twenty in her face and when we signed in I was her daughter. I had a hard cot, chunky soup, and lost of loud, smelly neighbors. But I was safe tonight. It was a "stay as long as you need, but work for it" shelter so for the next week I swept floors and cleaned the bathroom. But then the woman I was with vanished and I had to leave before someone caught on.

I was angry as I walked away from the shelter. I had had it made. I could have stayed there and it would have been fine, but no. I kick at the ground cross my arms against the cool fall air. It was getting colder everyday. I sat down on the first bench I came too and cried. Not only had I failed at this, I had epically failed. I had to go back. It was that or die. But I didn't think I had it in me to actually call dad and admit it to his face. I could call Bobby, he'd get me and wouldn't be all yelly until we were back at him house and I was back to normal. But then he would call dad and I'd be right back where I started. I could always go back and run away again later. But it would be more difficult this time. Dad would be on high alert and all it would take would be one failed attempt and he would lose his mind. I sigh a look up at my surroundings.

It was a nice place too. I stayed away from these neighborhoods most of the time. Homeless teenagers tended to stand out here. Medium sized houses all around, most were dark, a few TV lights filtered through the windows and a few dogs let out a few barks, but it was quiet. That was until the door of the house to my left opened up and a man in a dark suit came through the front door, a phone pressed to his ear and a few bags in his hands. He looked a little flustered and in a hurry as he quickly walked to the car that was parked outside of his house. He gets in and just sits there. I'm guessing he's going through his stuff, making sure he had everything. Which he must not have because he got out of the car and walked back to the house, leaving his front door open.

I'm not to sure what I'm doing, but I break into a run and quickly duck inside his house, hiding in the coat closet and holding my breath as I hear his footsteps as he walks out the door, slamming the door shut. His voice low and authorative as he went by "…nobody talks to him until I get there. Tell that defense attorney to shove his plea bargain, that scum…."

* * *

I don't know how long I wait in the closet. Scared he'll be back at any moment. But he doesn't, the house is silent and warm, and while I hiding I figured out a good way to get back home without being the one to make the phone call. The owner of the house would find me, call the cops, they'd arrest me and dad would get a phone call. And that would be that. not the glorious ending I had wanted when I ran off, but at least I tried, and I would try again when I was 16 and could actually get a job and it would be easier to lie about my age then.

I walk out of the closet and into the house. It was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. I walk through the house, looking at the framed art and rows of books that were everywhere. I found a decent sized kitchen and I decided that if I was gonna get busted anyway, I might as well make myself something good to eat. So I pulled out some chicken and set it in the sink in cold water to unthaw and I went through all the cabinets and giggled at all the alcohol that was in one shelf. I took out a bottle and looked at it. It said something in some language I didn't know, and it looked fancy and expensive. I wondered if it tasted better than what Uncle Bobby drank. I put the bottle back and shut to door. Settling on making something in the pasta family I grabbed some cool looking noodles, some garlic smelling sauce and then I went to the fridge and gabbed some onion and mushrooms. I was going to have a real meal no matter what.

But it would take the chicken time to thaw out so I set my bag by the stove and wondered through the rest of the house, hesitating before I went up the steps. I go into the first door on my left and I'm in an office, a big desk that was littered with papers and file folders sat in the middle of the room, bookshelves on the right side, a TV stand on the left, a soft looking brown loveseat sat opposite the desk and behind the desk hung diplomas and awards. I didn't bother looking too closely at them, who this guy was didn't matter to me. The door beside it had to have been a guest room or something. It looked like a hotel room, generic bedding with generic looking art hung on the walls. The closet was empty and it smelled a little stuffy, like nobody had been in it for a while. The next door was a bathroom. So I went to the other side of the hall and I found what Dean called the crap room. It was filled the random things, an old TV, a treadmill, lots of papers and notebooks were spread over a cheap looking desk, this room was a mess. And it felt very out of place in such a neat looking house.

The last door was the master bedroom and bath. It felt warm and smelled like sweet cologne that the well-off people seemed to wear. It wasn't something I smelled at school or on dad on the very rare occasion he bothered with such a thing. He mostly wore it when he was to meet with our teachers or talk to certain people. I opened the closet door and looked at all the nice-looking suits and shirts and pants that were on the hangers. A few plainer shirts were tucked off to one side, dress shoes lined the bottom of the closet, a few pairs of sneakers and boots were also tucked into the mess. This guy had to have been a businessman or something along those lines. I shut the door and snoop through the drawers and side tables before I go back down the steps and poke the chicken.

It was still a little frozen, but I decided to stick it in the oven anyway after I toss as many seasonings as I could on top. Kinda hoping I didn't ruin it as I did. After standing there for a few minutes I grab my backpack and pull out all my clothes and I walk to the laundry room. I pull the clothes out the dryer and toss them in a basket, flip the wet clothes and toss my dirty ones in the washer. I get both machines running and take the clean clothes to the master bedroom. I fold them all up and leave them in piles on the bed. I roll my eyes at how creepy that was. But I was stealing this guy's food so I guess it was the least I could do. I go back down stairs and check the chicken, it was still very raw, so I decided I was going to take a shower. And I wasn't going to use watered down shampoo I stole from the trash. I go to the master bathroom and use pure shampoo and conditioner, and even though it wasn't the best smelling thing ever, I used the body wash as well. Drying off with a real towel and tying the robe around myself. It smelled like everything I used in the shower as was well-worn. It was very comfortable.

I walk back down the stairs, check the chicken and set about making the pasta. I did everything I remember the cooks on the cooking channel do. Hoping I wasn't going to screw this up. I tossed some salt in the water and dumped the noodles in. as they cooked I flipped the laundry, folding the owners clothes up and laying them on the bed. Soon dinner is done, I cooked way more than I would eat, but I got carried away and I just shrugged and dug in, eating way more than I should as I felt I was going to puke it all back up. But I didn't. I just changed into the comfiest clothes I had and tucked all my clean clothes back in my bag, washed and cleaned up my mess from dinner, and went up the stairs to the guestroom. I set the bag right by the bed and I climbed into it. I melt into the clean, crisp sheets. The bed is soft and I roll onto my stomach, wrapping my arms around the pillow. Not wanting this feeling to end.

* * *

Now

"I stayed there for three days and one morning I woke up and the owner of the house was there. And instead of calling the cops or killing me, we talked for a while and he offered to let me stay with him. And after a few months it was home." I finish telling my story and Sam just shakes his head at me.

"You broke into some random guy's house and made yourself at home. I can't believe you."

"I know. I don't know why I did it. But I did. And in the end it worked out for the best. If there wouldn't have been the big brick wall of dad standing in the way I think he would have adopted me. David Rossi is an amazing man, Sammy."

That last bit seemed to get to Sam in some way. He bit his lip and stayed silent for a few minutes before he looked up at me. "I'm glad you were happy Janna. I missed you, missed you so much, but look at you now. Big bad FBI agent with a normal life. You don't have to lie to everyone all the time, and you save people too. Dad's big go-to argument with our lives is the people we save. And look at what you do."

"I still lie Sam. Sometimes the cases we get aren't normal things, and I have to get my team out of the way, I lie to David all the time about you guys, and my boss and my friends. I still lie everyday. And for the life of me I can't think of a single thing to do about that." I reach my hand out and lay it over Sam's. "For what it's worth I'm sorry I never reached out after I left. The least I could have done was let you know I was fine. A simple phone call wasn't going to give my location away and would have given you some peace. And maybe I could have been there for you when you left. I know how hard it is to do that."

"My leaving was more dramatic, lots of yelling and doors slamming. I was too angry to really think about what I was doing until I was on the bus. It wasn't until after I calmed down that the reality of what I did sunk in. I called Dean the first chance I could. We kept in pretty decent contact the first year I was gone. Then he got really involved in it. He was going off alone, then we didn't really talk for two years then he shows up on my door step."

"Yeah, Bobby told me a lot of what happened. I'm proud of you Sam. I'm glad you got out. Even if it was just for a little while. And maybe when you guys kill this thing you can go back to that life."

"Maybe. We have to get to that point first. And I have to have Dean with me."

I didn't get a chance to respond as my phone rang loud in my pocket. MORGAN flashed across the screen. "Hey, what up?" I ask, taking a drink of my now cool coffee.

"We need you back at the station. Rossi's on his way to get you. We got the guy and we need you in the interview room."

"What for?" David and Hotch were way better at the whole interrogation thing than I was.

"This guy has major mommy issues. Rossi thinks a woman in the room will make him more willing to talk. And you kinda look like his mom."

"Ew, Morgan, really? I don't mind talking to the guy but now…yuck."

"At least it's him mom and not his grandmother, that's be really insulting. See you when you get here."

"Bye." I say with a giggle and I shove my phone back in my pocket. I look up at my brother and let out a small smile. "I have to go to work for a little while. David is the one coming to get me. Do you wanna meet him?" I ask, wondering if this offer was jumping the gun a bit. After all, it had only been about fifteen minutes since I had reunited with my brother again.

"Sure." He says after a short second, "anything to put off seeing dad at the moment." He adds, sounding bitter and annoyed.

"What did he do Sam?" I ask taking in his facial expressions and tense body language. It was plain as day, Sam was pissed at dad.

"I've been pissed at dad everyday for the past year. Now I'm beyond pissed. But there's not too much I can do about it while we're here." he stands up, pushing his chair back against the table. I follow him, dumping my almost full coffee into the trash. I look up and I realize just how tall he is and I just chuckle a little, catching Sam's attention. "What?"

"I just can't get over how tall you are. I mean, you're my little brother. I think you're even taller than dad."

"I am. But he still makes me feel like I'm five."

"I know. When we ran into each other I stood like a soldier, like he had us stand while running drills or when we were in trouble. I'm a 24 year old FBI agent and he scared me to death. David can make that happen too, but only when I've really screwed up. Since it's such a rarity when he does it, it's super scary."

"So this guy was good to you right? I mean, he never hurt you or anything?" Sam asks as we walk out of the hospital, we stand by the drive-through, watching people come and go, as I watch for Rossi's car.

"No. he was a good man. Never left me somewhere without food or drug me out of school or made me run laps around town as punishment. My biggest problem living with him was what chore he was going to make me do when I was in trouble. He has a big house with lots of wood floors. So sweeping and mopping were among his favorite punishments. I felt like Cinderella a lot when I was 16."

"I wish that would have been my life. You would have thought that things would have gotten better after you left. Like it would have been some wakeup call that he needed to look after us better. But once he picked us up from Bobby's everything went back to more of the same thing. Only he was more distant, while somehow breathing down our necks more."

I look up at Sam, but he's just looking out at the highway, I feel something hurt in my chest. "Sammy…." I start, but he cuts me off.

"I know, it's okay Janna, I'm over it, I promise. That SUV looks very official." Sam says pointing at the black SUV with federal plates, I nod when I see David in the front seat. I wave as he pulls in; parking off to the side he gets out of the car.

"Hey." I say when he walks around the car to stand on the sidewalk. I motion towards Sam. "David, this is Sam, my younger brother." I almost laugh when Sam seems to self-consciously wipe his hand off on his jeans before holding it out.

"Nice to meet you sir." Sam says, his body language changing, acting more like he had when he was younger, all proper and anxious. David shook Sam's hand, his brown eyes doing a quick inventory of my brother as he did.

"David Rossi. Pleasure." An awkward silence falls between us, and I have no idea what to say to break it.

"Janna told me a little about you." Thank goodness for Sam. I think as he breaks the silence. "Thank you for taking care of her. She had a better life with you than she would have had if she stayed with us."

"Well I tried. It's not everyday you come home to find half your food eaten and the laundry done. Much less a fourteen year old girl sleeping in the guest room." David replies, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "After spending sometime with her, she was just to amazing to pass up. And being hungry is not a crime." Then he looks over at me, "But the guy we have in custody probably committed one. So we need to go." I nod and look back to Sam.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise." I reach into my pocket and pull out my card with my name and cell on it. "Call me if something happens before I get back." I say wanting to hug him, but it wasn't my place, not yet. He just nods and gives me a smile. David pulls away and offers his hand.

"It was nice meeting you Sam. Maybe we can talk some more. I'll bring her back in a few hours." David says, Sam shakes his hand back and David walks around the car and I get in the passenger seat. I buckle my seatbelt and look out the window, give Sam a smile and wave as we drive off.

* * *

"So that was your little brother?" David asks as he pulls out of the hospital drive. "How tall is your big brother?"

"Sam's the tall one I guess. Dean was lying down and dad was sitting down. But I always knew Sam was going to be tall. Not that tall mind you, but tall. He was always gangly and when he was a preteen he walked like a baby giraffe. It made Dean so mad every time anyone commented on the possibility of Sam being taller than him."

"So you saw your dad." Dave says, his tone obviously wanting me to elaborate.

"I did, but it didn't go too well. It was only for a few minutes and I stormed out after we started fighting. He wasn't happy to see me, if anything seeing me just made things worse for him. Dean is he favorite and between him possibly dying and his disgraced child showing up John Winchester is not having a good day. And he pissed Sam off about something too."

"What did you fight about?"

After I told Dave about our fight, or as much as I could, about dad's cruel words and how I unintentionally fell into his trap that started the fight I knew he wanted, and about my furious exit from the hospital room, complete with slamming the door and swearing. "To be fair," I add on. "I would have been a little put off if a kid I hadn't seen in 10 years magically popped up while everything around me was falling apart."

"Still doesn't justify what he said to you." Dave says, reaching over and taking my hand in his. "And he definitely has no right to call you stupid." He adds, sounding slightly angry."

"It's not the worst thing he's ever called me." I respond without thinking, and that didn't help Rossi's anger. If anything I saw the slightest puff of smoke come from his ears.

"It's fine Dave. Honestly. I knew dad wasn't going to take seeing me well. And I knew he would be angry about it because that is how my dad works. Even when I was little. We either did what he said, when he said it, no matter what it was, or we faced the consequences. He never expressed anything other than that. John doesn't know how to cry anymore." I add bitterly as I think back to the last time I remember dad crying. And then I realize I don't even remember the last time it happened. But I knew the last time Rossi cried. It was during my first, and so far only shoot out. And I had gotten hit in the arm and knocked to the ground. I woke up in the ambulance with him holding my hand, silent tears on his cheeks.

I look over and Dave with a smile. I squeeze his hand back. "I will never be able to thank you enough for what you did for me papa. But I'm so thankful for what you did. And I love you." Dave glances over and gives me a smile, pulling my hand up to his lips and kissing the back of my hand.

"I love you too my baby."

* * *

The last few minutes of our drive is spent in silence. It broke when we pulled in front of the station and he released my hand. As the doors of the SUV closed our roles shifted, he was my boss, telling me about the unsub and the plan the team had come up with. It was a good one, if not a bit of a gamble. With Emily in London and JJ not on the interview pool, I was the luck chicken in the rooster pen. Not that I minded. Morgan and Reid were substitute brothers. Morgan being like Dean and Reid being like Sam. And with Dave as my dad and Hotch as the uncle, there were very few holes in my life that hadn't been filled.

But they hadn't been filled completely. My BAU family could only help so much. And I wasn't about to replace Bobby, Dean, and Sam with anybody. Not even them.

The station is busier than it was this morning. A few more officers, one of whom I recognized as Jody Mills, the cop that always seemed to be the one that busted Bobby for random things over the years. David and I walk into the conference room we had been given and I get inquiring and sad looks from everybody. I sit down between Reid and Morgan and grab the side of Morgan's file and look over what they've found since I was gone.

"You know your file says the same things as mine, Chester."

"But yours is closer, you can share you big baby." I say as I scrunch my brow at the words on the page. "No chemicals were found at his house?" I ask as I look up.

"Nothing, not even household cleaners. He hires local teens to clean his house, claims work and being a bachelor doesn't leave him with time or ability.

"What about a second location? I mean, burning someone from the inside takes a lot of luck. You have to get them down the person throat and there would be a struggle unless he knocked them out. But then Elizabeth said she was awake."

"We don't think Victor Banks did it; we think he knows who does." Morgan says, pointing down further than I had read on the file to his handwritten notes.

"Wait, Victor Banks…." I say, thinking over the name. "Isn't he the High School Chemistry teacher?"

"Yeah, but he recently tried to publish several papers and tried several experiments trying to make a name for himself in the science community." Reid adds, naming off a few of his attempted papers and research projects and why they were rejected. "Apparently teaching teenagers isn't what he had in mind for his life."

"He wasn't a very good teacher anyway. I was only in his class for a few days but he was incompetent. Reid could have taught us better when he was four." I read further down

"I actually was never that into chemistry. Too much potential to blow something up or create a dangerous weapon." Reid says. Making me smile and shake my head.

"Says here his last rejection came the day before the first victim was taken. How come we don't think he's our guy?" I ask, when I finally come to the end of Morgan's notes.

"Doesn't fit the profile. He's jilted, but not a killer. Too submissive and shaky to kill a woman. Sheriff Mills went with us and the moment he saw her he shrank back." Hotch says. "No way he has the stomach to hold a woman down and make her swallow the chemical."

"Where are the autopsy reports?" I ask, taking Morgan's file from him completely and thumbing through his pages. Rossi motions to Reid who pulls out another file and a copy of the reports. Handing the reports to me and the file to Morgan. I look though the pages, skimming until I saw cause of death on our first and then to the second. "Reid, can chemicals that cause this kind of damage be in solid form?"

"Yeah, they can come in any of the three states of matter. Gas obviously being the most dangerous since you usually can't see or smell them. Liquids are more dangerous to handle since even altering the chemical formula in the smallest way can have far reaching consequences, such as exposing it to oxygen or even breathing on them too much. Solids are a little easier to handle, they're not as easily changed by outside elements."

"Why are you asking?" David asks, looking up at me.

"When I was in school there was an issue with Mr. Banks and his supply budget. Sioux Falls is a small town and the school never had a good budget and most teachers bought stuff out of their own pockets or we went without. But somehow Mr. Banks got new microscopes, lab equipment, burners, you name it. There is no way he got all of that on his own."

"You think it's his supplier?" Morgan asks.

"Possibly. I mean, it happened years ago when I was in junior high, but it was a big deal. The other teachers were jealous and started hassling him. But he kept getting new equipment year after year. We moved before anything happened officially."

"Morgan, you and Reid go to the school, go through his classroom, talk to administration, and see what you can find. Chester I still want you to do the interview, I'll stay here with you. But if he doesn't recognize you do not give that up. We can use it to rattle him if needs be. JJ and Dave, talk to the local delivery drivers and check their records. Look at anything coming to Victor Banks in the past five years."

With that Hotch stood up and the meeting was over. "Dave a word" Hotch says as he steps into the hall. David follows him out, blocking the door for their talk. I roll my eyes. "Bet they're talking about you." Morgan says as he pulls my hair gently.

"Bet they are too. Hotch is still mad about me bailing earlier huh?"

"I wouldn't say mad, more like miffed." Reid says, trying to make me feel better.

"So how is your family Chester?" JJ asks with her arms full of file folders.

"My older brother is in pretty bad shape, but my dad and younger brother are going to be fine."

"What was it like seeing them after so long?" JJ asks gently. I look down at my hands that are picking at my nail beds and shrug.

"Better than I thought, worse than I hoped. My dad is not big on hugs or reunions. He more for predictability and order. My showing up after ten years is anything but order. But Sam was happy to see me so there is my silver lining."

"So you're telling me," Morgan starts, not sounding too happy, "that after ten years of no contact they weren't happy to see you? I'm three days without sending my mom a text and she's on the phone trying to call Hotch to see where I am."

"Your mom is a sweet lady. My dad is more like a drill sergeant. Years as a marine can do that to a guy." I sigh and look at all of them instead of at the door. "Look guys, I appreciate the concern, but I'm fine. Nothing is going to change with me. That part of my life is over. When this case is over I'll say goodbye to them and that will be that. If anything changes it will be me adding a few phone calls on my weekly to do list. But that's it. So let's talk about something else please." I say before spinning back around and pushing through the door, part of it hitting Hotch in the shoulder on my way out. I mumble a sorry before taking off to where the interview rooms were.

* * *

Mr. Banks doesn't look that different than he did when I was in school. He looked like a skinny stick with a big nose and glasses. He was balding now compared to the gray hair he had last I saw him, and I bet Dean gave him a fair amount of them. Dean had almost set the school on fire one day when he was in the 9th grade. Mr. Banks was obviously nervous. His legs were bouncing up and down and he was fidgeting with the stringy edge of his sweater vest. He sort of dressed like Reid only he couldn't pull it off. And since he was so old it really didn't work. The old scientist trying to fit in with the new generation of geniuses he couldn't even tread water with. He would hate Reid. Maybe Reid would work better than me?

After watching him for a few minutes Hotch appears at my side. "Do you mind telling me why you hit me with the door?" he asks calmly.

"Because you and David decided to have a conversation right in front of it. I needed to get here and observe his actions before I go in."

"And it has nothing with the team demanding answers from you?"

I turn my head and give him a pointed look. It really got on my nerves when Hotch pulled this. The whole, "you need to talk to us" thing when he never did unless you caught him at the right time. When his wife left him most of us were in the dark for weeks, we knew something was off, but we didn't know what. Then there were the times he was had been, his hearing issue jumping straight to mind. He got on Reid's case after he wouldn't talk about what happened during his kidnapping, and was mad that Morgan didn't tell us about his criminal record when we was arrested last year. He always wanted us to talk, but he never wanted to talk himself. It was infuriating.

"I'm going to tell you what I told them. I'm fine. Nothing is wrong with me and my life isn't going to change. I'm here to do a job. So let me do it." I say turning and walking away from him and into the room. I take a deep, calming breath at the door before I walk in.

* * *

As far as interviews go this one was pretty easy. Easy but on the long side. Hotch had been right about this guy having a lady issue. He seemed almost desperate to please me and he answered most of my questions. His supplier was a man by the name of Wilson Carr. He had targeted woman who had turned him down in the past. Carr's trigger was the loss of his job for being caught transporting stolen goods. Without his side-business or his normal job Carr's life went downhill in a hurry. So be threatened to expose Banks if he didn't help out. So Banks caught the women to various places around town, pretending to be an attacker. Carr would save the say, offering them peanuts covered in sodium hydroxide and if they wouldn't eat them freely, she shoved them down their throats. After the first two he decided that took too long and changed his formula, dousing Elizabeth in a liquid chemical. But her screams caught the attention of some passer-byers and Carr was forced to flee, leaving Elizabeth alive.

I walk out with a smile on my face and a signed confession. I hand the paper to Hotch and I walk to go get some coffee. My phone rings in my pocket. I pull it out, not recognizing the number on the screen. "Chester?" I say, holding the phone to my ear.

"Janna? It's Sam." His voice is low and gravely.

"Sam? What's wrong?"

"Dean…he….he had some kind of attack. He flat lined…"

"Oh god, is he-?"

"No, no. he's alive, at least he is now. They got him back." His words fell short and I felt the invisible "but" hanging in the air after his words.

"What happened Sam? Tell me what's going on." I say crossing my arm under the arm that's holding my phone.

"I'm not sure. But, I think I felt him Janna. I swear it felt like he was right there beside me watching everything. I mean, it felt just like him. Like I could have reached out and touched him."

"Like he's a ghost or something?" I ask after a quick glance around me, making sure no one was within ear shot.

"No, he'd be dead if it was a ghost and I didn't feel cold or anything. More like a spirit I guess."

"Have you told dad?" I ask, "I mean, I've been out of the game for ten years Sam. He'd know more than me."

"I'm not exactly in a chatty mood with dad right now."

"Tell me about it. But if anybody would know it's him."

"I guess I can ask. But can you come back here. Please?" he almost sounds like he's begging and I can't help but tell him I would there as soon as I was allowed. I'd have to talk to Hotch, and with my recent attitude it wasn't going to be an easy talk. My boss had serious issues with disrespect and short tempers.

"If anything happens more with Dean before I get there…"

"I'll call. See you soon."

"Bye Sammy." I say after a brief moment of silence. I flip my phone closed and press my knuckles into my eyes. I was feeling more overwhelmed at this moment than I had in a while. It was like my new life was being smothered by my old one, but my new life was fighting. It wanted to live another day. It didn't want to die like Sam's had. And all the conflict was getting to me.

I shove my phone back in my pocket and decide to bring Hotch a peace offering before I asked to leave again. Now that we knew the name of the unsub it would take Garcia half a second to find him, and the more agents Hotch had on the ground the better. But maybe he would understand. I grab the biggest mug that's on the shelf and fix the coffee like Hotch likes it and I grab doughnut and I carry it to the conference room where he stands, talking on his phone. "Get here soon Morgan." He set his phone on the table and looks at me. I gave him a sheepish smile.

"Peace offering?" I say holding up the coffee and food. I get the closest thing to a Hotch smile and I set the stuff on the table by his papers. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper with you or the team. I just didn't think I'd see them again, or that it would hurt this much or be this confusing. I'm not quite sure how to handle everything right now. And with everything with Dean in the air and my dad hating me I'm not sure what to expect in the next few days."

"We're just here to help you. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but taking it out on us is just going to land you in more hot water."

"I understand, and I won't do it again."

"I hope not, especially not with flying doors. That is assault on a federal officer." He says with flashing eyes. I pick up a folder and whack him on his arm.

"So was that." I say setting it back down. Then I get serious. "There was another reason I came in here…"

* * *

Hotch drives faster than Dave and were at the hospital a little quicker. I thank Hotch and get out of the car, watching him drive off before I make it to the hospital. I get in the elevator and walk quickly to Dean's room. I freeze in my steps as I see Sam sitting on the floor, an Ouija board spread out in front of him. He looks up at me as I shut the door behind me. "Is he talking back?" I ask, walking over to him and sitting beside him.

"Don't know, I haven't asked anything yet." He says, scooting his hand over a little bit. I place my fingers beside his and take a breath, concentrating on Dean, but letting Sam do the talking.

"Dean, are you here?" his voice hangs in the air, and we both nervously watch the unmoving glass, I can feel Sam's hopefulness rolling off him. He really wants to believe Dean is around here other than in the bed to our left.

Suddenly the glass moves, Sam sucks in a breath as we watch it glide across the board towards the "yes" that's printed in black at the top of the board. Sam's hopefulness changes to happiness and he exclaims how much he missed Dean and how much he needed him back. Even though I knew about sprits and ghosts and all that, I was still surprised over what I was seeing. I guess I had really been away that long. The glass starts moving again. "H…U…N….T…."

"Hunt?" Sam mumbles, his gears shifting in his head.

"Hunting." I say. "Dean, are you hunting something in the hospital?" I ask, the glass shifts to a yes. And I'm somewhat relived he's talking to me. The glass moves again. "R…E…A…P…E…R."

"A reaper?" Sam comments breathlessly. "Is it after you?" Sam asks, and I feel a sinking feeling as the glass slides back over the printed "yes" on the board.

Sam lets out a sigh. "If it's here naturally, there's no way to stop it."

"Oh Dean." I say, looking towards my brother in the bed. My heart hurting for him. Sam soon leaves the room. Muttering something about dad. Sam was going to talk to dad.

The room is silent once more, and I shift my gaze back towards the board on the floor. I reach my hands out and lay them on the glass again. I can't help but feel silly as I do. I hadn't been around this stuff in ten years and it felt so weird and out of place that I almost changed my mind. Almost.

"Dean. Are you still here?" I ask, almost afraid of my answer, and I sit and wait, minutes seem to go by, but then the glass gives a short jerk away and back to the "yes" I bit the inside of my lip. "Do you know who I am?" I ask, feeling kinda stupid. After a few more seconds the same thing happens, a jerk from and back to the "yes". I take a deep breath.

"Dean, I want to talk to you, but I want you to be alive ya know. But I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't call you or try to see you or…..I don't know. I just, I want you to know what I still love you. And I missed you. I missed you so much. I watch the glass, hoping for some kind of response. And even more slowly than before the glass starts moving. "M…I…S…S…E…D…Y…O…U…T…O." the glass barley got to the last letter before a voice behind me made me jump.

"Chester? What are you doing?" I look up and see Morgan and Reid at the door, both looking confused and a little concerned. I jump to my feet quickly, standing in front of the board.

"I was just…I mean….it's an old family thing…."I try to explain lamely. But before I get a chance to try and do better, Sam pops his head around the corner. His face filled with worry.

"Dad's gone."

* * *

 **Story Note:** As I said before this is not set in any specific Criminal Minds season so I'm just picking and choosing things, so here is a brief overview of where every one is.

Rossi was obviously divorced and Joy is not around at all. But everything with James happened a few months before Janna came to live with him. Janna was only around for his last wife.

Hotch is divorced, but Haley is still alive and Jack is about a year old.

Emily is the Chief of the London Interpol Office.

JJ is engaged to Will and Henry is a baby.

Morgan and Reid are like they normally are in the series, no girlfriends and Reid's kidnapping by Tobias has already happened as has Morgan's secret about his childhood been exposed.

Garcia is like she always is, and will play a minor role in this story.

Gideon never came back to the BAU after his breakdown, but Janna knows who he is. Not that he's really important in this story, but people might wonder. So just put Rossi in for all the episodes. I do like Gideon, I just like Rossi more.

 **All** the science stuff were written after a quick Google search, I didn't dig too much into it as it's not overly important to the story either. So if it doesn't sound right, just ignore it and move on.

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	3. Chapter Three: Make Amends

**Disclaimer:** Criminal Minds is not mine and neither is Supernatural. I love them equally and spent way too much time watching them.

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* * *

Chapter Three: Make Amends

"What kind of gone? Like he went for a walk gone or he's gonna run off gone."

"I don't think he's left the hospital, his-." Sam's words come to a stop as he finally seems to realize it's not just us in the room. He looks awkwardly between them and me.

"Derek, Spencer," I say stepping towards Sam and putting a hand on his shoulder, "this is my little brother, Sam." I look up at Sam, "I work with these guys, Derek is our muscle and Spencer is our brains. You and he probably have a lot in common, you're both nerds." I pat Sam's arm and smile at Spencer's confused expression. Derek offers his hand which Sam awkwardly shakes.

"How many of you are here?"

"Just us and Rossi. Everyone else is trying to get eyes on our guy. He's on the road somewhere. We think he's on his way back here, but we don't know for sure."

"And where is David?"

"He was looking for your father." Spencer says matter-of-factly, but his eyes are lingering on the bed where Dean lies.

"Oh for the love of….Excuse me." I say as I push past Sam and head towards the information desk.

But I don't even have to walk half that as raised voices seem to fill the hall and I take off towards the commotion. I round the corner and see my dad and David having a very heated argument beside the door that lead to the stairway. Dad is in a mix of street and hospital clothes, his arm in the black sling and the white hospital shirt tucked into his tattered jeans. David is in his usual work outfit and it was weird seeing them side-by-side like that. My rugged, dressed for the woods father with his messy hair and stubble filled chin. David in a suit, smooth, combed hair and trimmed goatee that gave his true age away a little bit since it was more gray that the top of his head.

My musing is interrupted when David grabs dad by the collar of his shirt and shoves him against the wall, David pulling his weight more than normal. "I wouldn't have let you within a mile of her, you bastard." He growls loudly at my dad. "She ran to get away from you and your sick crusade and brainwashing. The same thing that put your oldest in a coma." All I saw was a flash in dad's eyes before he swung out with his good arm, catching David on the side of the face. Hard enough to make David pull back a little. I quickly went forward and grabbed David's right arm before he could retaliate. But it was a lot harder than I was expecting. His arm jerked from my grip and the top of his arm hit my nose as his fist made contact with Dad's face.

"Stop it!" I yell, digging my feet in and pushing David away, getting just enough space between the two that dad's punch doesn't hit David, but the top of my head.

The lights seem to flash and I stumble, landing against David's chest. "Ow." I grumble, reaching back and rubbing my head where it was throbbing with my pulse. Dad didn't pull that punch. It wasn't like fight training with dad where he held back enough as to not hurt us. This was a real, I'm gonna kill you punch, from a pissed John Winchester.

"Janna, are you okay?" a deep voice asks me, as warm, familiar arms wrap around me, pulling me up and steady on my feet. It was David, his tone concerned and wary.

"Yea, just took me by surprise is all." I say, pulling away, still rubbing my head. I look at Dad, who looks surprised and taken aback, but it's only in his eyes, his face is still and cold. "What the hell is wrong with the two of you? This is a hospital and you," I jab a finger towards dad, "just got your ass handed to you by a truck with a bad attitude. Get back to bed."

"Excuse me." Dad says, his voice leaning on the angry side.

"You always do this crap. You know how worried Sam is!? He goes in your room to ask you about the damn Reaper that's after Dean and you're nowhere to be found!"

"What Reaper" from Dad and "What is a Reaper" from David at the same time has color draining from my face. Oops. Not the best thing to say in front of David.

"Go talk to your son." I say, giving Dad a dirty look before I grab David by the arm and tug him away from the scene of their altercation.

"Are you okay?" I ask when I get him to the waiting room.

"Yeah. He hit's hard, but not the hardest."

"Just be happy he's hurt. It's usually a lot harder than that." I say as I plop down in a chair beside him.

"And you would know that how?" David asks his voice serious and cold again.

"Relax, I told you years ago that he never hit us. But I've seen him hit a lot of people. Once when I was twelve Dad was at a bar hustling pool, well these guys figured him out fairly quick and they obviously weren't too pleased. So they start ganging up on him, he beat all four of them up, gets the money, and a beer on his way out. So I can conclude that John Winchester can hit harder than that." I tell my story while I look over David's bruised jaw. "Want me to get you some ice for that? It's gonna swell up."

"Later." He grouses, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me against him. I go with his movements with a confused look on my face.

"What are you doing?" I ask as I come to rest against his side, my head on his shoulder.

"I'm hugging my kid. And no, I don't care how this looks. I need this." He lets out a slight sigh, "How's your head?"

"I'm fine, it just grazed me, if he had been aiming for me and had actually hit me it would have been a lot worse."

"He shouldn't have hit you at all."

"I kinda put myself between you two, so it's my fault. What did you even say to him?"

"Everything I've wanted to say for the past ten years."

* * *

Flashback

Rossi's PoV

It had been almost a month since I came home to find my kitchen raided and a scrawny teenager in my guestroom. Now here we are, getting ready to have the first real test of this relationship we have had slowly building between us. Her first few days here after I got back were like living with a mouse. She was silent, almost timid in her actions, doing everything for me from cooking and doing the dishes. It had taken a lot of self control to not get annoyed at her actions. She was my guest, not a slave. She was expected to help out, but not be a maid. But I did enjoy the help in the kitchen, not many people appreciated my cooking skills or wanted to learn them.

Then the newness and oddity wore off and we moved towards coexistence. She watched TV loudly in the living room and stopped folding my clothes, just tossing my clean clothes in a basket to wrinkle so she could have the dryer. She still helped me cook; she was getting better each night it seemed. We were joking around with each other and she was telling me more about her past. I learned she had two brothers and a man who was like an Uncle who lived in South Dakota that she loved dearly. She hated Halloween and was clueless about Christmas. Something I was looking forward to fixing next month.

But now, right now, was our first test. The vacation period had finally ended, and as the adult, I had to punish the nervous looking teen. And I was completely lost. I had been at work, doing pointless piles of paperwork and wondering why I ever took a temporary sabbatical from work. I probably wouldn't have if I had known the mess I'd be coming back to. My phone had rang and it was the principle at the High School calling to tell me that Janna had gotten into a fight with another student. The other student had a broken nose and a black eye, and Janna wasn't talking about what had happened.

I made it to the school in record time.

I walked through the front doors in time to see a tall boy with ice pressed to hit face being lead out the doors by his irate looking father and mother. I faltered in my steps when I saw him. The boy was tall and big, two things Janna was not.

The walk towards the office was short and I opened the door and saw Janna curled up in a chair, ice on her right hand, and down-turned eyes. Her body was lax and deflated looking as she sat there. I knew she wasn't really in this room. She was lost in her thoughts. Something she had a tendency to do from time to time.

After a short meeting with the principle we agreed Janna would do a week in ISS and have a few sessions with the guidance counselor. Apparently Janna had been having a hard time socially in school.

Something I was unaware of.

"Come on Janna, we're going home." I say as I head towards the door of the office. She's on her feet and straight to my side faster than I expected. Didn't most kids in trouble linger behind and drag their feet? I look down at her and frown at her body language. She head was ducked and her hands were gripping the straps of her backpack so tight her knuckles were white. She stayed half a step behind me as we walked out of the school and she slid quietly into the passenger side of the car. Nervousness was rolling off her in waves. The ride home felt like it took forever.

She got out of the car only after I did, and she still stayed half a step behind me from the drive to the house. We walked in and instead of taking off towards her room she stood in the doorway and kept her eyes on the floor, even after I moved into the living room.

"Janna, please come in here." I say after just watching her for a few minutes. She walks towards me, still in the same position, like she was waiting for the hammer to fall. "Once you sit down I would like you to tell me why you hit that boy." I say as I sit in my worn brown chair. Janna goes to the couch and lowers herself on the edge of it, backpack still on her shoulders.

"I didn't mean to hit him that hard sir." She says her voice strong and clear. Again, not what I was expecting.

"That is not what I asked."

"He was….He was picking on Sam." She says after a short pause. "And nobody else was going to do anything. So I stepped in, just asking him to stop, but he just pushed me. So I reacted. I punched him in the face."

"Who is Sam?"

At my question I see her body tense a little, but she answers me quickly. "Sam Carson. He's in my grade, he looks like a beanpole and everybody picks on him. It's not right."

"No, it's not. But neither is you picking fights with the bullies. Actions, even ones with good intentions have consequences."

"Yes sir."

"Is there another reason you stepping in? Surely just seeing a kid being picked on isn't enough to warrant that kind of reaction."

Her body language changes again, and she looks up at me for the first time since I picked her up from the school. "I always had to look out for Sammy. And since I'm not there to do that, I guess I'm just looking after every Sammy I can." And then she looks back down. "How many drills do I need to do so I can stay here sir?"

I feel myself actually jerk in shock at the question. Drills? Her tone of voice and words had me feeling cold. I stand up and walk over to the coffee table in front of the couch and sit on it. Reaching out and laying a hand on Janna's knee.

"What are drills Janna?"

"It's what my dad used as punishments. My brother's and I, we would have to run laps or do some of his marine training drills when we were bad. The higher the number the worse the crime was." She states it so nonchalantly and I grit my teeth together.

"You will never have to run another drill. And as I told you weeks ago, you can stay here as long as you like. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." She says with out looking up from the floor.

"No Janna, I want you to look at me, and do not call me sir. I'm just someone who cares for you; sir is not how I want you to see me."

She looks up at me slowly. Her green eyes watery and face looking a little brighter.

"Yes David. I understand. No drills and I don't have to leave." She gave me a small smile and I pulled her into a hug. Suddenly she began to cry, but it was in relief. My heart broke to hear it.

After a few minutes her tears dried and I laid out what her punishment was going to be. Chores. Everyday, run-of-the-mill chores. A punishment to all kids everywhere seemed like a walk in the park to Janna considering how happy she was as she swept the kitchen floor.

It was in that moment that I decided I would find all I could on John Winchester.

After a few days and a few favors I had a pretty decent file on my desk. It told me everything I knew and all that I didn't know about the man. I knew about the Marine service, the dead wife, and three kids. I didn't know about the grave robberies, assault charges, child service records and warning, and even a suspected murder in Southeast Kansas. As I read over that file horrible images of the life Janna possibly lead flashed through my brain and I was determined to keep her as far away from him as possible, and as tight to me as I could.

Janna Winchester had stolen my heart.

* * *

Present Day

Janna's PoV

"I didn't know you looking into my dad."

"I had always planned on looking into it, but after that day I needed to know all I could. And I've added to it every chance I could. It's pretty full now, five different folders."

"I love you David."

"Love you too my baby." He says kissing the top of my head.

"Ahh, look Reid, they're cuddling." A loud, mocking voice sounds from down the hallway. I open my eyes and see Reid and Morgan walking towards us. I sit up and toss an old magazine at Morgan as I do.

"Shut up. Just because you have family issues."

"Please Chester. My family is a walk in the park compared to your _Days of Our Lives_ mess you have here." He says as he sits in a chair across from me. "Now I thought Sam was the little brother?"

"He is, he's just a very big little brother. Where is he anyway?"

"Looking through some old book, he just left after you did and came back to it. He's just sitting in there thumbing through it."

"I need to go check on him." I say as I stand up. "When is Hotch supposed to call with information on the unsub?"

"As soon as they find him, so it could be soon, we could be sitting a while. But I don't think we're gonna need you." David says. "Go check on your brother. We'll wait."

* * *

Rossi's PoV

Janna walks out the room and down the hall, my eye is stinging a little and resist touching it with my fingers. Not the hardest I've been punched, but definitely up there.

"Rossi, man what happened to your face?" Morgan asks with a grin on his face.

"Reid, what's a reaper?" I ask, changing the subject.

"A what?" Morgan asks.

"A Reaper. Janna and John Winchester were talking about them."

"It really depends." Reid says, "Most cultures have some type of Reaper, each with various names and abilities. But mainly they deliver souls to their final destinations."

"Like an angel of death?" I ask.

"Sort of, the most common belief is that Reapers have to be around for a person to actually die. They have to convince the soul to go with them; Reapers can't just take a person if they don't want to go." Reid finishes and I just blink at him. This kid read the weirdest things.

"Why would Janna be talking about that stuff? The woman doesn't even carve pumpkins for Halloween, let alone be into this Reaper crap." Morgan says. "What did she say about them anyway? I mean, we all kinda gather that her father is crazy, so was she actually talking about it or was she just amusing her dad?"

"She was yelling at him, angry about our confrontation and she said that a Reaper was after Dean."

"She's been acting weird since all this started. I mean, she was using an Ouija board when Reid and I walked into her brother's room." Morgan tells me, and that has my brain turning even more.

Janna's explanations for her life never really added up completely, the weird symbols I had found carved in the floor under her bed and the salt at her window seals the first few years she lived with me always had me checking her backpack and library card for anything related to witchcraft or cults, but I always came up with nothing. Things in her dad's file as well as her oldest brothers had always made me wonder what her family had really been into and doing.

But there had never been any real, set proof that anything too out of the ordinary had been going on, and I had fallen had over heels for that girl that I wasn't about to let a few harmless carvings and salt lines take her away from me.

But now, now I wasn't so sure. She wasn't acting like my Janna, Ouija boards and this Reaper talk nonsense was not like my baby who, as Morgan said, wouldn't even carve a pumpkin at Halloween.

A buzzing in my pocket drew my thoughts away and it was a text from Hotch says out unsub was on his way into town and we were all needed. I signal to Reid and Morgan and we walk out the building as I call Hotch, telling him we were on our way, but Janna was needed at the hospital.

* * *

Janna's PoV

I walk out of the waiting room and down the hall towards Dean's room. I walk in and see Sam sitting on the edge of Dean's bed, flipping through a very familiar looking book. "Dad's journal?" I ask as I walk closer to the bed.

"Yeah, dad wasn't in his room, but this hasn't let us down yet. There has to be something in here on Reapers."

"Sam, we're in a hospital. There are going to be a few Reapers around here. It is kind of their jobs to take the dead."

"Dean's not dead." He snaps at me, his eyes flashing. He shakes his head and looks back at the book. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. But I'm not wrong and you know it. But even you said that if the Reaper was here naturally there isn't anything we can do. Even if there were, I don't think Reapers are exactly easy to kill."

I was going to ask dad about them, but he's not in his room."

"How long ago did you go in there?"

"Just a few minutes ago, I had to get away from your agent friends. They kind of block the whole room."

"I didn't mean to leave you like that Sam. It's just that David's been planning on cornering dad and having at him for years. And a hospital isn't the best place for them to come to blows."

"That would be something to see." Sam says with a small chuckle.

"It kind of was. But I got them separated before they really did some damage or got kicked out."

"Dad actually hit an FBI agent?"

"Yeah, but to be fair David kind of goaded him into it."

Sam looked up at me with a real smile and a chuckle on his lips. I smile back at him and we share a small but of humor, just the two of us, for the first time in years Sam and I had a real moment. "You stay here and keep looking, I'll go find dad. He and I need to have a real conversation anyway."

"Just….take what he says with a grain of salt. We both know how spiteful dad can be when he's hurting."

"Yeah, I know." I say as I walk back towards the door. "Be back in a few. Maybe dad and I won't want to kill each other."

I step into the hall and realize I have no idea where to look. I look around the hallway and think about where dad could be. The sun is pretty low in the sky and I wonder what time it actually is. I head towards dad's room, thinking it's a good place to start looking. My phone vibrates in my pocket and it was a text from David saying they were on their way to get the unsub and that I was to just stay at the hospital and I would be called if needed.

Dad's room is empty and messy. His clothes are gone, but his bag is still here, so he was still in the building at least. I close my eyes and think about where dad could possibly be and an image of the fight I broke up between him and David flashes behind my eyes, so does the stairwell sign. I roll my eyes and quickly walk to the steps. I get to the landing and deciding to go up before I go down. So I climb all the way to the roof before running into a locked door, no sign of dad, and I was doubtful he would have just wondered onto another floor. So I go down. As far down as I can until I reach the basement, this door is open, the lock looking picked.

I walk slowly down the hallway, it's dark and damp and it was making my skin crawl. It was weird not having my gun drawn as I made my way through the hall. This situation just felt like I needed it in my hand. Instead I kept them lose at my sides and my eyes and ears more open than they probably should have been.

In reality, anything and anybody could be down here. Hospitals were good stomping grounds for ghosts, angry spirits, reapers, as well as a few types of crazy normal people. This was the worst place to be right now. But it was probably where dad had run off to.

"…offended, don't you trust me?" a voice, one I didn't recognized, drifted smoothly into the hallway. I stop my steps and strain my ears, hoping to hear something else so I could get a direction to go in. there is a pause, no voice answers the question.

"Fine." I hear, and I know it's from a head of me to the left. I start walking again, trying to make my steps as quiet as possible.

"So we have a deal?" another voice asks, and my chest tightness. It sounded like dad, and the next voice confirmed my suspicions.

"No, John, not yet. You still need to sweeten the pot."

I'm at the boiler room door and I look around the corner and I see four men in the middle of the room. One looks like a doctor, the other a nurse, one is my dad, and one just looks like a normal person. But I'm not stupid. Dad wouldn't be in the basement talking with normal people.

"With what?" dad asks, his voice low and laced with annoyance and a little bit of something I had never heard in his voice before. The non-average Joe takes a few steps closer to dad and his voice sounds slick and vindictive.

"There's something else I want as much as that gun, maybe more." He's standing face to face with my dad, no fear in his body; I can't see his face from this distance, in this light. "And that is?"

"Your life."

I can't help the gasp that leaves my mouth and before I can react the nurse and doctor are at the door, pulling me though it and towards my dad and the other man. "Well, look at that." the man hisses, "I must say John; all your children do enjoy sticking their noses into my business, although Janna has been the least annoying." My mouth drops when I see the man, his yellow eyes.

"You!" I breathe out, looking at the demon that murder my mother and sent all our lives into a world of chaos and hurt and blood.

"Me!" he mocks, a sick smile spreading across his face. "You certainly grew up to be a beautiful thing. But the last I saw you, you were a screaming, wrinkly thing wiggling on the floor as I burned your mother." I pull against the two holding my arms, a rage I hadn't felt in a long time surging through my veins, my struggles are fruitless as the brutes hold me firmly. The demon makes to walk towards me, only to freeze as dad speaks.

"You have a deal, all of it. The gun and all." If it was at all possible the demon looked even more pleased with himself as he turned and faced dad. He held his hand out and dad shook it, firmly and harshly. The demon looked at the thugs and the nurse suddenly fell to the ground as black smoke erupted from his mouth, a strained scream falling from the lips. Once the smoke vanished the nurse collapsed on the floor. The doctor grabs my lose arm and tugs it behind my back. I fight back now, my FBI instincts taking over my rational thoughts. Hours of training with Morgan and Dave honing my muscle memory and I'm loose from the doctor's hold and I step back from everyone and fall into a defensive stance, my heart pounding in my heart.

"This one has spunk John. Maybe I chose the wrong child; Sammy has never shown that much spirit."

"You stay away from her." dad growls, his hand tightening around a gun in his hand.

"Don't worry so much. My plans have been in motion for over twenty years. I'm not going to change them now. Your little run-away is safe," he looks at me, his yellow eyes flashing, "as long as you stay out of my business."

Suddenly the black smoke is back and is shoving itself back into the nurse's body. After a few seconds the nurse speaks.

"It's done. They boy will wake. The reaper is with him."

"Time to make good on my end John. And you better make good on yours or the consequences….oh what fun they will be." And then all three of them smoke out of the bodies. Leaving dad and I with three dead or unconscious people at out feet.

I feel myself shaking as I look around my feet at the carnage left behind.

"Janna?" my dad says and I look up at him, he looks so lost, more haggard than I have ever seen him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I swallow down the lump in my throat. "So that was him huh? That was the demon that killed mom?"

"Yeah."

I don't really know what to say, I cross my arms and suddenly I feel cold. I hear footsteps and I look up and see Dad has taken several steps closer to me and he puts his hand on my shoulder. "Janna, talk to me." I pick at the skin around my fingers, but the look in his eyes is something I don't think I've ever seen, regret and sadness. I take a small step forwards and wrap my arms around my dad's waist, hugging him for the first time in a very long time. I close my eyes and squeeze my eyes shut as dad wraps his arm around me and hugs me tightly.

It felt strange to be in his arms again, it felt different than I remembered. Maybe it was the fact I was taller, or that he smelled different, or the situation around our reunion. But this hug felt different, and I didn't know how I felt about that. Hugging Bobby felt the same, and the same thing with Dave throughout the years never changed, but this was, and I didn't know how I felt about that.

It was different, but I still felt safe, like I always did the few times dad had hugged me.

We pull apart and I wipe my eyes before I look up at him. "I missed you Janna." He says with a soft smile on his face. "Come on, lets get out of here." he says as he wraps his arm around my shoulder and we walk out of the boiler room and we take the stairs up to the main floor of the lobby. There was an unconscious agreement that we needed to have a real talk. So I found myself in the same coffee shop in the lobby of the hospital, drinking the same order of coffee, and almost rehashing the same conversation.

"I never meant to drive you away, you or Sammy." Dad says over his plain black coffee. "I won't say I regret my actions, but I do wish I had paid more attention to you kids."

"Even if I would have had all of your attention I probably still would have left. It wasn't just the fact you weren't around or that when you were around you were a bit overbearing, it was the life overall. I hated moving around, not having friends, all the lying. It was everything."

"How long were you planning on leaving me? You disappeared to fast for it to be a spontaneous thing."

"For a few weeks, I don't really know what made me leave that night, but I was just laying there and the next thing I knew I put the letter on the table and my bag in my hand."

Dad's face is almost blank, but his eyes are far away, and it hurts me enough to look away. "When I woke up and saw your bed empty…I just thought you had went for a walk or something, like you used to do sometimes. But then I saw that note, I had a sinking feeling and it took me a few moments before I got up and read it. Then it was like a light went off and I was out the door, calling for you. I got your brothers up, made all the calls I could, but I knew I probably wouldn't find you. At least not easily."

"I had a pretty good plan in mind. Everything kinda went downhill when I got to Virginia; it's harder than I expected being a runaway." I told dad about my few weeks of wondering around and how I ended up at David's house. Dad smiled at my actions and my train of thought when I was there.

"You always hated to admit defeat. Even when you were little. Did you know you learned how to walk before both your brothers?"

"No, I always assumed it was Dean."

"No, it was you. You were about 7 months old when you first started to pull up, then you skipped crawling and you were up and about. Dean started when he was around 10 months, and Sam was after he was a year old."

We fell into the standard silence that always happened after dad talked about our childhood. The smallest memory from when mom was alive always seemed to take a lot out dad. It always made him seem tired. "Can I ask you a question?" I ask, wanting to ask while dad was still in this mood. If me or my brothers ever wanted to know about our life before we always had to ask when dad brought up the past on his own.

"Sure."

"When Sam and I had our talk, he told me a lot of things about what had happened to him in this last year, and he told me about our old house, mom's ghost and all that." I broke off, wondering if this was really an important thing to know or not.

"Go on." Dad said

"Sam said Dean carried him out, and I was wondering, I mean. I want to know what happened that night, and I mean what really happened. I know the basics, and I know the who, but what really happened?"

It was silent at our table again, but it was different than it was, this was thick and heavy. I suddenly wanted to take back my question.

"You wouldn't go down." Dad said after a while. "Sam was in his crib and your mom had put Dean in bed. But you didn't want to. Your mom had been home with the three of you all day, and she needed to sleep so I took you downstairs so everyone else could sleep." He paused and took a drink of his coffee. "A few hours later I heard some movement upstairs and figured it was just your mother moving around and checking on the boys, but then I heard a scream and I took off up the stairs, you in my arms. I walked in Sam's room and everything was fine, or it looked fine. I looked at Sam and something fell on his blankets, I reached out to see what it was and a few more drops fell on my hand. It was blood, your mom's." he paused again, taking in a shaking breath and took a deep drink of his coffee. "I looked up and there she was, stuck on the ceiling, her middle was…" he swallowed, "and she was pale, the look on her face….I fell back on the floor, I had never seen anything like that before, and the fact it was your mom….I dropped you, you rolled a little under Sam's crib and you started screaming, then the fire….it all happened so fast. Then Dean ran into the room and I just stood up, shoved Sam into his arms and told him to go outside. When I turned back you were curled up beside the crib, you must have crawled out a little while I was giving Sam to Dean. I was so scared and lost, I was calling your moms name, and you were screaming, I grabbed you and pulled you up, and the fire just seemed to explode. The room was engulfed in it and I held you tight and ran down the steps. I scooped your brothers up and ran away from the house."

"A neighbor had called the fire department and it was just the four of us. We were on the hood of the Impala and I felt hopeless. You and Dean were scared and clingy. Sam just fell asleep in my arms once we were still for a while. It wasn't until a few days later, once the shock at worn off that I realized I wasn't happy with the explanation I had been given. Between what I had seen and Dean not talking and you being extremely clingy, I had find answers. I had lost my wife, and my kids were changing, my whole life was turned upside-down and I needed answers. And you know the rest."

My thoughts are going a mile a minute. And yet they were still. I had never heard the whole story of that night before. I hadn't known how me or my brothers had gotten out, or how much dad had actually seen, I defiantly didn't know I had been in the room and I had probably seen mom burn too. I reach out and grab dads hand and squeeze it. "I'm really sorry dad. I never really stopped to think about how much your life had been affect too. How much….how hard it all must have been. I'm sorry I didn't try harder."

"It wasn't your job Janna. Just like it wasn't Dean's. Sam was right, we had a fight and he talked about how focused I was on my "Crusade" that I didn't treat you guys like kids; I didn't let you have a childhood. And as much as I hate that you left, and I hate that man who raised you, at least you got one. Even if it was fourteen years too late."

My phone rings in my pocket and I pull it out, seeing a random number flash across the screen. "Chester." I answer, putting the phone to my ear.

"He's awake!" Sam shouts in my ear, loud enough that I have to pull the phone away. "Dean, Dean's awake!"

"He's awake?"

"Yeah, he was just lying there, and then he was up. The doctors are running some tests, but he…he's awake!"

"Okay Sam, I'll be right there."

"Okay!" he replies before he hangs up before I can say anything about finding dad. I smile and shake my head at Sam's happiness. And I can't deny how happy I am that Dean's awake too. I look up at dad.

"Dean's awake."

All he does is smile, a smile that looks like he already knew it was going to happen.

"Dad, down in the boiler room, what did you mean when you told the demon you had a deal? What kind of deal?"

* * *

I stood alone in the elevator headed towards Dean's room. Dad said he had to go get the colt and bullet he was trading for Dean's life. A part of me felt it was a good deal, a gun for Dean, but another part of me couldn't help but think about how this deal was probably gonna make Dean feel. But dad was confident we could find another way to kill the demon and if it was good enough for dad, who was I to argue? I barley knew what was going on, and I knew jack about this demon, so I was just gonna believe dad and move on with my life.

I didn't like that he didn't want me to tell Sam, but I also knew how mean Sam could be about certain things and from what I gathered Dad and Sam's relationship was on more rocky ground than mine and dad's was. So I wasn't gonna say anything that would make it worse. After all, Sam was the one who had to see dad everyday, not me. As soon as my family was back up to par I was going to go back to my normal life. Where if I was being retrained by two tall men I could at least fight back. Stupid demons.

I shot a text to David telling him Dean was awake and to call me as soon as he could. Who knew how long it would take them to catch the unsub, and then book him, and all the other nonsense that went into our job. At least I wouldn't have to do any paperwork for this case since I've barley been involved. But I would have some paperwork to do when I got back home explaining why I wasn't involved.

The elevator dings to a halt and I step off, but I see Sam in the waiting room, so I walk over to him. "Hey, what's going on?"

"They're running some tests. Making sure he's okay. What damage is there, all that."

"How did he look?" I say as I sit next to him.

"Pretty good, I guess. He scared the crap out of me, just jumped awake, pulling at the crap in his mouth. Then I was pushed out of the room before I could get any information on him. Where's dad?"

"He said he had some stuff to do, that he was gonna call Bobby. I'm not really sure."

"Well, since you're here in one piece, I take it you and dad hashed things out?"

"We did, I mean, it's weird, we went to the coffee shop and had an actual conversation. He even talked about mom."

"Wow, I'm a little jealous. Dad and I still haven't talked about anything. We've just kinda yelled and walked away." Sam lets out a small chuckle, "I swear I thought he was gonna punch me a few weeks ago."

"What did you do?"

"Pulled the Impala out in front of his speeding truck and called him on his bull. I think if Dean wouldn't have been there we might have actually killed each other."

"Good ole Dean. He always likes to get between us and dad. Like the time I decided he needed to stop drinking and I tossed all his alcohol in the dumpster?"

"I remember all the cleaning and Latin you had to do. Any of those exorcisms still up there?"

"Heck no. and I only remember a few Latin phrases. On occasion a few random words will pop in my head, but I couldn't recite a whole one anymore."

Sam and I spent the rest of the night drinking coffee and talking about life. Old stories, new stories, college stories, anything that we could think of.

My phone went off and it was a text from David saying they caught the unsub and that the team was going to crash at the hotel and he would be by first thing in the morning. And about an hour after that the doctor came and told us that all the test had been run and all the results would be back in the morning. Sam and I stood up and walked to Dean's room.

I let Sam go in first, I hung back at the door and watched as my brothers hugged each other and Sam talked about how worried he was about Dean, who just cracked a joke. He looked and sounded exhausted. And his eyes grow wide when he glances at the door and sees me standing there. "Hi Dean." I say with a small wave. And I suddenly feel very nervous.

"Janna?"

"Yeah."

"What are you doing here?"

"Was in town for work, ran into Bobby. I've been here for a few days. We talked a little with the Ouija board."

"Ouija board? Seriously?"

"Dean," Sam asks, breaking in, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Being in the car, a loud crash."

"Dean…." Sam then tells Dean everything that happened since they got here, and Dean didn't remember any of it, not even him being chased by a Reaper. He asks Sam a few questions, asks about dad, the car, it was a weird conversation. But I didn't expect anything less. Dean looks at me again, I'm still standing in the doorway. Feeling unsure if Dean wanted me here or not.

"You've been here the whole time?"

"Yeah, I got here about two hours after you guys were brought in."

A few silent minutes pass and Sam rubs his palms on his jeans before he clears his throat. "You guys need to talk, and I need some coffee. I'll call dad and let him know you're up and talking. Be nice." He says, walking out of the room, pushing me in the room as he goes out. I stand there, beside Dean's bed, my arms crossed, my fingers picking at my nails.

"Still do that. I figured all your skin would be picked off by now."

"I'm surprised there is any there too. You're not the only one who hates when I do it." We fall silent again and I let out a sigh. "Look Dean, I know you're not one for emotions, or at least, you weren't the last I saw you, I doubt you've changed that much. But we don't have to do this now, or ever. I just….when I saw your car all smashed up on Bobby's trailer and he told me what happened….I just needed to come. But I understand if you don't want me here. I have no right to be here."

"Do you know how much it hurt when you ran off?" Dean snaps at me. "How screwed up everything became?"

"No." I say back, my voice soft and yielding. Dad and Sam had their chance to say what they wanted to me, and I was going to give Dean the same chance. Even though he was louder about it. Which seemed to me that I had hurt him the most.

"Dad was a disaster and he made mine and Sam's lives hell for 6 months and then he ditched us for a whole year." Dean's voice was changing, he wasn't snapping in anger, just kind of listing off some grievances in a matter-of-fact kind of voice. "While you were off god knows where, apparently having the time of you life, I was left picking up the mess you made. You didn't just leave dad. You left all of us."

"I'm sorry Dean. I can't say anymore than that. There is nothing I can say to make this any better. But I'm here now, and if you'll let me, I want to be around; I don't want to be strangers anymore. You're my big brother, and I love you."

He looks up at me, his green eyes flashing, but they're soft and bright.

"I missed you Janna." he says, fidgeting with his blanket. I smile at him and bend down to give him a hug. And this hug felt like it always had. A safe, strong hug from my big brother.

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** All the Winchesters in the same room! Return of David Rossi and the whole team, John's Death, and Uncle Bobby makes a come back.

 **Also:** If there is anything that you guys would like to see happen before the end of the story let me know. And I would like to know if you want me to continue writting more of the story. I have a few ideas floating around to continue. So let me know what you think, one shot or series!


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